If there’s one thing I cannot stand, it’s people who feel the need to post every positive aspect of their life on social media. Like, I really don’t need to see you and your boyfriend posing for a beach picture on Instagram (especially when you don’t even pay attention to the framing). And I really hate it when people post screenshots of their grades on Facebook.

It happens every semester, and it’s always the same. They attach some kind of sob story that’s way less sad than the person thinks it is, followed by how they overcame whatever “adversity” they faced.
Here’s an example from a totally real guy I definitely went to high school with in my actual life:

“My dearest acquaintances, I have a confession to make.

I know that from the outside, my life might seem perfect. But, you see, it hasn’t always been this way.
High school was a breeze. I was the golden child. Perfect grades, perfect friends. Boy Scout; great relationship with my sister; all-state athlete; no history of incest; 2300 SAT score: I had the world in my (J-Crew) pocket.

When I first arrived at college, I kind of assumed that everything would come easy to me, just like it always has! But surprisingly it didn’t. I had to study for the first time in my life! That fall semester hit me pretty hard, and I almost failed all my classes  (3.77 GPA). To top it off, I only ended up with a SA Senate seat after the election winner quit due to ‘lack of interest.’ (I lost the original election after someone spread some definitely false rumors about me and my sister.)

But, you know what, you live and you grow. (Well, I actually lost the freshman fifteen, but that’s another story #kale.) I picked myself up and decided to devote at least 45 minutes a day to schoolwork. I began to put effort into social interactions, until I had all of the friends. Sophomore year, when I won the Senate seat due to ‘lack of competition,’ I knew that I had made a lasting change in my life.

And now, look at me! Sitting here, with my 3.94 GPA, ready for my final semester; staring down upon the world armed with my boundless potential and the strawberry daiquiris my sister and I ordered on our special ‘siblings-only’ retreat to the Cayman Islands, I have finally realized that I’ve made it.

Please join me in congratulating myself.

Just sharing my truth,
Chad”

Honestly, I don’t know that I need to say anything else about this. I think it kind of speaks for itself. Like, how many ways do I need to say that these people are just the worst?

I might have bought myself an Oxford crewneck that I wear literally always just to broadcast the fact that I spent a semester at what some might call “the most prestigious university in the world,” but that’s not because I like to brag, it’s just because I literally cannot find any other blue sweatshirts, you know?

One of the things that always annoys me is how a lot of their A’s are from dance, theater, or cooking classes. As an English major myself, far be it for me to tell another person that his major is “easy” and that his grades mean less. But they do. But, if you want to judge other people’s grades, maybe try to not get B’s in some of your classes that actually have exams or essays or some form of tangible assessment?

If you really want to show how much better you are than everyone else, just do it the normal way and base your self-worth on the number of celebrities who favorite your tweets.

Just sharing my truth,
Scott



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