I am proud to say I recently accomplished what few have managed to do before me. I left the iPhone.

Sure, it wasn’t easy, and the divorce proceedings got expensive, but I like to think we’ve both moved on and are all the better for it. So, with that in mind, I present to you my ode to the iPhone, and all the things I will miss.

Number one is obviously all the wonderful default Apple apps. For example, without Apple Maps, no longer will I get to broaden my horizons by getting lost on road trips or discovering new bodies of water when it tells me to drive into a lake.

And, of course, where would I be without the News app? It lets me know what’s going on in the world, hours after I already found out about it on Facebook.

I will miss sleeping through morning classes because my phone updated in the middle of the night, without warning, and shut off all my alarms. I always appreciated that it had my back, and made sure I was getting a healthy amount of sleep.

Of course, this, combined with waking up and discovering all of the useful features Apple has removed and replaced with ones that drain the battery, excites me more than drinking a strong cup of coffee to wash down a caffeine pill.

And where would I be without Apple storing all of my contacts and info so that I could only get it with an iPhone? Their hoarding of my information made it difficult to leave, and it was a comfort knowing that they loved having me around so badly. It feels good to be wanted.

Alas, here I am, venturing out into the unknown. As I finish up my thoughts, my new Samsung has died, leaving me struggling to figure out which side of the charger is “up” so I can plug it in.

I knew I would regret this eventually.



Live updates: Wallis Hall sit-ins

Editor’s Note (5/4/24): This article is no longer being updated. For our most up to date coverage, look for articles…

Furries on UR campus?

A few months ago, as I did my daily walk to class through the tunnels to escape the February cold,…

The NBA’s MVP candidates

Against the Cleveland Cavaliers, center Nikola Jokić posted 26 points, 18 rebounds, and 16 assists in 35 minutes. That same…