In case the title didn’t sufficiently allude to this fact, this article will contain spoilers on the hit HBO show, “Game of Thrones.” If you are not completely up-to-date on the series: first, what is wrong with you? Second, steer clear of the traumatizing information that is to follow.
Now that all the amateur fans and wannabe disciples of our beloved show have turned away, we can begin.
It has been exactly 154 days since the last Game of Thrones episode aired on HBO, and I, like many of you, am suffering from withdrawal. So many good souls were taken away from us in that final episode, but none will be more dearly missed than Margaery of House Tyrell.
Let’s get one thing clear: when Hillary Clinton grows up, she wants to be Margaery Tyrell. She’s been called the protégée of Lady Olenna, the female version of Petyr Baelish. First of all, Petyr Baelish wishes he could be the male version of Margaery. He lacks her beauty, subtlety, titles, and whatever compassion she may have had. Second, Lady Olenna herself admitted that as good as she was in her day, Margaery was way better.
Natalie Dormer did a fantastic job portraying the Rose Princess, but for me, at least, she fell into the same trap that actors playing superheroes fall into. I no longer saw Natalie Dormer, but instead the illustrious political mastermind, Margaery. She was surpassed by the perfection of her own character because Margaery Tyrell is, quite simply, a bad bitch. Anyone who says otherwise should put their head through a wall.
If you’ll now indulge me, dear reader, I’ll perform the task Thrones fans love more than anything: rankings. Margaery’s top five moments span a vast range of abilities, held by only a select few of the show’s characters.
The first time she seduced King Joffrey using a goddamn crossbow. Cersei attempted to control her vile son his entire life. Margaery had him wrapped around her finger within weeks. I won’t even count her ability to control Tommen because that was a walk in the park for this woman. What a flawless performance.
When she told Littlefinger that no, she didn’t want to be Queen. Rather, she wanted to be The Queen. Oh my god, what a boss! Cleopatra didn’t have ambition like that! This woman was hungry.
Of all her manipulations, convincing the High Sparrow himself that she had turned over a new leaf was simply masterful. The man was the George R. R. Martin version of Bernie Sanders and she played him. That’s like Clinton buying Sanders with a bribe for a free haircut.
When she hit Sansa with Theodore Roosevelt–level wisdom in the middle of the rose garden. After successfully wrapping the last Stark in King’s Landing around her finger, she reminded her, “Women in our position must make the best of our circumstances.” Essentially, “do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” Such simplistic genius.
The top moment goes to every single time she put that troll Cersei on blast, all with a smile painted on her face.
