Cheryl Seligman, Features Editor

Relationships are challenging no matter how old one is. But there’s something about being a young adult that makes relationships harder for one’s brain to comprehend. Single girls usually say they are too busy with their lives to care about men, or they devote hours trying to analyze a text message. Single guys want every girl to be their friend, but have no intention of making any one of them a girlfriend.

There are those who are truly happy being single, but the rest of the world assumes they are in denial, and there are people in relationships who make every effort to give off an impression of happiness or complain about how hard it is to maintain “true love.”

In order to clear things up a bit, a study on what to do while pursuing relationships, or actually being in them, was conducted in the Department of Psychology at UR. Students were taken in and given a survey on what they find most attractive about the opposite sex. The conclusion of the results are summarized below:

Ladies, make sure you text him 24/7. If you want this guy, but he’s not replying to your texts, just keep on texting. He will love it. Pretend he’s your Facebook and you’re posting statuses about every single thing you’re doing. In the car and a great song just came on? Text him at the next red light. Baking cookies? Text him while they’re in the oven. Is it raining? He’s definitely stuck inside, waiting to hear from you, so text him.

Better yet, rant to him about each aspect of your day. But if you want to know what he’s up to for the evening? Don’t you dare press that send button. Instead, stalk him online and ask everyone else to find out. Also, use a billion emoticons in your texts, and when you’re talking to him, make sure you twirl your hair and force in a joke.

Gentlemen, the rules are a bit more relaxed for you. When getting to know a girl, don’t talk to her. Creep on her Facebook to determine what she likes and who she’s friends with. Want to impress her? Bring out the arrogant smart ass in you, since it’s definitely more attractive than your softer side. Also, make sure to drink like a man, because girls really like guys who hit on them when they’re too drunk to remember it.

If you really like her, don’t ask her out. You’d be insane to do that. Wait until she asks you and keep wondering to yourself when she will. Last but not least, don’t forget to use the word “bro” in your each and every sentence.

The last find that the study revealed is the one turn on for each sex. Girls love nothing more than when a guy gets out of a bad relationship and blames it all on women being too complicated. On the other hand, guys are turned on by girls claiming that men have no souls.

Make sure to consider these findings and you’ll wind up in a healthy relationship in no time!

Panda is a member of the class of 2014.

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Editor’s Note (5/4/24): This article is no longer being updated. For our most up to date coverage, look for articles…