Courtesy of http://sa.rochester.edu

I was pleased to read in the most recent edition of the Campus Times that the paper endorsed Bradley Halpern and Rohini Bhatia for Students’ Association President and Vice President.

I don’t hold this view simply as an affirmation that the paper made the right and/or only choice — rather, this decision confirms the SA government still exists.

With the Senate’s minutes infrequently posted and minimal coverage in the CT, one would think the government was merely a figment of the SA President’s imagination, or that the minutes are really pretend conversations between the Speaker of the SA and the fine stuffed animals at La-Tea-Da (“Point of clarification: Mr. Fuzzybottom’s boa is trés chic!”).

And yes, the Senate has a tendency to argue Robert’s Rules of Order more than any actual new business. It always seems difficult to post photos of new senators on the Hive, even at a school that enshrines cameramakers in bronze statue form. (I see the Speaker has attempted to solve this problem by having his photo be twice as large, but perhaps there exists an even better approach.)

Luckily, these problems seem to be fading. The state of the SA is now “extraordinary!” And if you think about it, this makes sense!

After all that complaining last year about paninis replacing omelets, Dining Services has finally solved the problem by cutting good food altogether in favor of the more exotic pizza option and removing the only comfortable social area north of Library Road.

And the school is cutting back on allergy-causing pollen, by paving over a third of the Wilson Quadrangle and building a new space where the brightest future teachers will go, after they get rejected from Teach For America.

To help the school along its way will be the Halpern administration, with a bold platform of vagueness. After all, the university I know and love is one hell-bent on being “always better (never the best),” and having achievable objectives flies in the face of that philosophy: If you have objective goals, you might get a sense of contentedness once they’re accomplished.

So, as the 4,922 student groups (and mariachis!) prepare to fight over Havens Lounge, which might be the only space left to them now, maybe a couple of their members will trickle into the Gowen Room on Monday nights at 9 p.m. and take an interest in how student government works for them.



I SAW A MAN IN THE WOODS (CLICKBAIT!!!!)

You are an absolute buffoon. I’m crying from laughing as I type this, just imagining your dumbfounded face. How could you fall for this?

Available now, for a limited time: Pig Syrup

The fact that this market hasn’t been tapped yet astounds me. There are so many reasons to transform into a pig!

Dam Funny: A Review of “Hundreds of Beavers” – North America’s Largest Rodent Takes Center Stage

Our protagonist awakes in shoulder-deep snow. He is alone, without any worldly possessions. His applejack business is as good as gone.