1. The line outside Starbucks during midterms or finals week is longer than the line for immigrants to enter America on Ellis Island.
2. You are at a minimum of a two-degree separation from someone who is going pre-med or majoring in the sciences, and they sure as hell won’t let you, oh lowly humanities or social science major forget it.
3. You dress up to go to Gleason, considering you will probably run into more people there than you will anywhere else on campus.
4. You have a straight face when you tell your friends back home that a library is the social hub of the campus.
5. You realize that the graffiti in the stacks is better than PostSecret’s could ever be.
6. Uncle Dickie is now in your extended family tree.
7. You console knowing that no matter how hard your major is, it will never be as hard as optics. And if your major is optics, well then, that just sucks.
8. When you ask people how they are doing or what they have been up to, they immediately give you their entire course load for the semester and class agenda for the week.
9. One of the things on your to-do list before you graduate is doing some promiscuous things in the stacks.
10. Yummy Garden is a misnomer, whereas at least the Pit is a pretty accurate summation of the food served there.
11. You must explain to all your friends and relatives constantly that ‘No, I do not attend RIT. I attend the University of Rochester.”
12. The biggest hassle before winter break is not packing your suitcase. It’s the painstaking and painful taking down and dismantling of every single fire hazard in your room (and by God, did you know that you had accumulated this many over the semester?!).
13. You discuss with great gravity how traying down the Sue B. Hill should be considered an extreme Olympic sport.
14. They never taught you in econ how much the value of a textbook can depreciate up to 95 percent of its original value in a matter of a couple months!
15. There have only been two times you’ve passed through the door that leads into the Hive the first time you entered it and when you left it.
16. You don’t realize this, but making you navigate around Meliora Hall and monitoring your escalating confusion is the SONA experiment.
17. You finally realize there is no way to stylishly wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt… now if only you could make the whole entire campus realize this as well.
18. No, you can’t Club anything at Hillside anymore, sorry.
19. You have no excuse for beer goggles anymore, ’cause honestly, it won’t make much of a difference now, will it?
20. Dragons do exist in that vent.
21. There is always one person in a Gleason cubicle with a bathrobe on, and, yes, he probably lives there.
22. You experience a deep ecstatic joy exuding out of your soul when you see the words ‘Package received. Please print or write the info contained in e-mail” in your inbox. (This is also probably the highlight of your week.)
23. You fail to comprehend why Hutchison, the building that houses 80 percent of the reasons why students come to this school in the first place, has no tunnel leading to it.
24. You are familiar with this scenario: It’s 1:01 a.m., you are in Gleason, you are hungry, but not hungry enough to order an entire pizza.
25. Registering for classes on the day registration opens is kind of like Black Friday all hell breaks loose once the doors open, people get into screaming brawls with each other to get what they want, and some people die, trampled in the process.
26. A Nobel Prize will be awarded to the student who is able to use up all $10 in a club meal.
27. You have tried for hours to convince your friends back home that a Garbage Plate is actually extremely delicious and describing what’s in it won’t help either.
28. You have enough tickets from Parking to make into a sculpture and submit as an Art Showcase in the Hartnett Gallery.
29. You wake up from a deep nap, look at the clock and see that it is 8, but have no idea whether it’s a.m. or p.m.

Jung is a member of the class of 2011.


You are an absolute buffoon. I’m crying from laughing as I type this, just imagining your dumbfounded face. How could you fall for this?

Banality in Search of Evil: The College Democrats and Republicans Debate

Far from a debate, it felt like I was witnessing a show trial.

CT Watches: Othello

The University of Rochester Theatre Program takes on a modern interpretation of Shakespeare’s “Othello” and does an excellent job of…