Aries (March 21-April 19) – After scheduling classes for your first semester of culinary school, you will be disappointed to find that ‘wake and bake’ actually refers to a 9 a.m. class.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) – When on spring break, it’s important to practice safe sex, unless of course you’re drunk, in which case you’re invincible.

Gemini (May 21-June 21) – As you discuss exponential decay in chemistry, you can’t help but think back to your discussion in psychology about long-term relationships and the effects on sex drive.

Cancer (June 22-July 22) – When blow-up dolls are finally replaced by robotic companions, ‘pumping iron’ will take on a whole new meaning.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) – Getting your car washed in the middle of a Rochester winter is like leaving the bathroom when you are sick with the flu.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) – As the snow begins to turn to rain, people’s opinions will change from ‘Rochester sucks,’ to ‘Rochester blows.’

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) – This week you will celebrate with your special someone the first month anniversary of your relationship being “complicated” on facebook.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) – If you plan on going out this weekend, remember this, ladies: just because no one’s been playing on the field doesn’t mean you should fire the groundskeeper.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) – Some say that if regular people drank as much as an average college student, they would be diagnosed with alcoholism. I feel the same goes for nymphomania.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) – Some people are upset that there is no 24-hour library on the weekends. What upsets you is that there are people who actually care about this.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) – As a biology and chemistry double major, you must feel that it is unfair that your spring break is as long as a philosophy major’s.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) – It’s funny that a month after a holiday devoted to love and romance is a holiday devoted to getting loaded and making bad decisions with strangers.

(If you actually believe this then you believe you will get your act together after spring break.)

Senior Spotlight: An Evening with Epiphany Adams

Her favorite teacher, taken from her best subject, told her words that would redirect her studies from psychology, to sciences, then back to psychology.

Respecting the earth we live on

We often forget to stop and take stock of what we are lucky to have here — both in terms of campus resources and the nature that surrounds us.

Letter to the Editor: accusations of plagiarism against University professor

The pattern of plagiarism and misrepresentation does not suggest simply making a careless omission of a reference or two.