Hello again from Life, Love…Sport (Strong Dislike Edition). Recently, a friend of mine chided me for use of the word hate. In that revolutionary spirit, today we will be covering all the things in sports that I, as a fan of all things athletic, strongly dislike. Along the way, you, my loyal readers, will get an update on everything from the BCS standings to the beginning of the end of Isiah Thomas. Also covered in this issue will be my first comprehensive top five college men’s basketball teams. Let’s roll.
Throughout the history of sport and mankind, there have been many things that people have not liked about the world of athletics. Here at LLS, I would like to bring several of these problems to light, as determined by a panel of experts.
1) The fan that stands up behind home plate – Is there a more aggravating fan in the world than this guy? I’m sure that his wife knows he’s at the game. SIT DOWN. You’re sitting the in front; we see you whether we want to or not.
2) The new “no complaining” rule in basketball – Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I’ve seen only two basketball games so far. However, both games were plagued by what seemed like an extraordinary number of technical fouls. Asking basketball players to not argue foul calls is like putting pudding in front of Rosie O’Donnell and asking her not to eat it. Has there ever been a dumber rule that serves no purpose?
3) New York Knicks – Run by the worst general manager in the history of GMs, a man who literally has run this team into the ground for the rest of this decade and who now is the coach of this once-fantastic team, ladies and gentlemen, I present you Isiah Thomas! More on him in a bit.
And finally 4) Peyton Manning – Just because he exists.
Let’s move on to the world of college football. Missouri lost to Nebraska, meaning that they are going to be excluded from a big bowl. No big deal-there’s always next year. Now to a more important topic, let us examine the BCS standings. Once again, this could be the year that there are three undefeated teams, which would really hurt the credibility of the rankings in general. They have been on thin ice for several years, and if an undefeated team gets shafted again, a la Auburn in 2004, I see a major storm brewing on the horizon.
Perhaps the biggest debate today is whether an undefeated team out of the Big East conference would be more deserving of a championship bid than a once-defeated SEC or Pac-10 team. The LLS thinks that if a team was good enough to survive a twelve game schedule and win their conference, they should be allowed to try their luck in the national championship game.
TV ratings shouldn’t be a problem becuase the winner of the Ohio State-Michigan game will take their massive cohorts of fans to the game. If anything, curious fans who have rarely seen Louisville play could really spike this year’s ratings. All that stands in their way is an undefeated Rutgers team that could find itself in a BCS bowl if they win.
Turning back to Isiah Thomas, sometimes known as one of the worst executives to ever run a franchise. I mean, come on, his destruction of the Knicks is almost sad. He saddled the team with contracts that won’t allow them to sign any big names until 2011 at the earliest. He gave away draft picks like candies on Halloween. With him in charge, the poor team is going nowhere fast, and it might take them a long time to recover. And you thought that the Royals were a bad team.
And now, I present the inaugural college basketball rankings. The season starts soon-it’s about time that the LLS has caught on to the ranking craze.
1)North Carolina- This team looks downright ridiculous. One of the favorites to win the title in Tyler Hansbrough’s last season on Tabacco Road.
2)Kansas-One of the youngest teams in the tournament last year. This year, they play for keeps, and a high slot in the draft next year.
3)Florida-Last year’s champs, returning basically everyone. Repeat? Perhaps.
4)Georgia Tech- Bad year last year. They come back reloaded and a dark horse to get to the Final Four.
5)Ohio State-Super-recruit Greg Oden makes a pit-stop cutting down the nets. Shades of Carmelo Anthony.
Final Fact: Golfers use an estimated $800 million worth of golf balls annually.
Maystrovsky’s article appears weekly. Maystrovsky is a member of the class of 2009.