Halloween used to be a time of great trials, a trek of epic proportions. Only one winner would be crowned supreme, and the losers would be shamed in a pile of over-processed coconut and crispy nougat. The ancient days of All Hallows Eve were all about the candy – the sugar, the gingivitis, the joy. Requiring great knowledge and skill, it was a painstaking journey to acquire as much glucose per square inch in a pillow case as possible. Circumventing those grotesque fiends of Halloween that believed in handing out “Nature’s candy” appeared indeed to be a most challenging task, comparable to the task that awaits those college students now. Now, the robust candy sack is replaced by the most perfect costume, the one getup that makes people recall great triumphs of the cloth forever. It is about last minute planning, creativity and, most importantly, pride. Halloween in college is all about the costume.One ignorant passerby might question the difficulty in piecing together a most excellent costume, but they have no idea what a great costume entails. To put it most simply, the basic criteria for an outstanding and conspicuous costume differs greatly for both genders. For women, a costume that makes them look hot, where not only specific characters but classic genres such as a nurse in fishnet stockings or a sadomasochistic whip wielder are always a favorite. For men, the task requires more creativity because most, if not all genres, have been played out, such as policeman or Keystone Light man.Dilemmas often arise within a party regarding costumes. This paragraph is designed to educate those of you with ICCADPDSERPO (Inability to Create Cool Costumes and Always Dressed as a Policeman or Devil or Something Else Really Played Out). Although this advice most definitely comes too late, it does not hurt to keep this article in your wallet or purse until Armageddon. One of the greatest issues is what I like to call the “Mirror Effect,” when you peer across a party and, low and behold, notice another random partygoer dressed the same as yourself. Make special care that your costume has nothing to do with law enforcement.Another serious issue is the warmth, mobility and comfort of your costume. Think about the plausibility of your costume. An actual sized replica of the Eiffel Tower might not be a good idea, but I might be wrong about that. A great rule of thumb is to pick a costume that makes people think for a second and then understand. Lastly, however feminine this might sound, accessorizing for Halloween costumes is always the key. What’s a Quailman with no belt on his head or a Lorena Bobbitt without a bloody knife (points for a 1993 reference)?In the end, college Halloween is an amazing experience. It provides for a fantastic integration between young and old activities. It allows us to easily start a conversation, meet each other and makes it so that if you are the living dead, you can walk around for one weekend and drink at the frats without someone always questioning your hygiene. We all seek that one fantastic costume, unbeknownst to all others who seek the same exact treasure. Stahl is a member ofthe class of 2009.

University removes meal plan Option D

In accordance with new federal regulations concerning food and housing costs, the University will be removing meal plan Option D…

The Joker speaks

This sent me down a rabbit hole — how much force do you need to physically remove a male genitalia from the rest of the body?

The lost opportunities for military dependents at UR

I am a military dependent: a child of an active duty or retired military member. If that’s not identity, then I don’t know what is.