Welcome back folks! It’s that time of year again. The time when the Kansas City Royals attempt to not lose 100 games, the Arizona Cardinals fool everyone by winning their first game, dads get sent to jail for beating up little kids at football games and track stars run the hundred yard dash in three seconds – all naturally, of course.
Since you’ve been gone, the Detroit Tigers decided to play baseball again, the Miami Heat won the NBA championship, the Carolina Hurricanes won the Stanley Cup, the Detroit Shock won the WNBA championship and Aaron Durley-13 years old 6’8″ and 256 lbs-proved that MLB’s steroid policy doesn’t extend to little league baseball.
Suprisingly, Barry Bonds has been silent all summer long, after his show “Bonds on Bonds” bombed on ESPN. The network should begin focusing on real news, like why the NFL gets a free pass on the steroid scandal while baseball gets skewered by Jay Leno. Seriously, after the New York Times uncovered evidence that several members of the Carolina Panthers not named Todd Sauerbun were taking illegal steroids, espn.com devoted two columns on the topic, neither of which condemned the NFL for overlooking the problem. Meanwhile, just last week, they wrote another critical piece on why Major League Baseball is failing with their drug policy. Sounds like a lot of ass-kissing is going on at Bristol.
Now back to some lighter news, the college football season has started! Seeing how Rochester is a Division III program (a coincidence that I had somehow unfortunately overlooked when applying) the Pressbox will now sponsor a D-I program to make a bowl game. Without further ado, I give you the University of New Hampshire! What is that you cry? Its not a member of Football Bowl Subdivision (aka Division I-A) but rather of the NCAA Football Championship Subdivision (aka Division I-AA)? Alright then, from now on, the Pressbox officially endorses University of Missouri. A decent team for the last several years, the Mizzou Tigers are poised to make a leap from a mid-December bowl game to a January bowl game, hopefully something more prestigious than the GMAC Bowl being played right before the championship game.
On to baseball, where the dog days of August saw the Boston Red Sox collapse yet again in spectacular fashion. First place to also-ran in the span of three weeks is an incredible accomplishment. Yet we should also commend the surprise teams of the season, mainly the New York Mets for their philosophy of money equals success, which seems strangely familiar.
Meanwhile, the Florida Marlins have swum their way back into the wild-card race on the backs of players-whom-you-have-never-heard-of-that-will-be-on-the-Yankees-roster-in-two-years.
Back in the junior circuit, the Detroit Tigers seemed to have finally climbed their way out of the cellar and started winning games, while the always crafty Oakland A’s will make the playoffs only to lose in the divisional series because that’s what they always do.
So my pick for the World Series Champ? The Twins, because I love catchers that can hit (Doug Mirabelli toy figurine not included).
This column would be in the red if it didn’t mention the NFL. Congrats to the Cardinals for getting a new stadium. May you be forever blessed with playing the 49ers twice a year. Kudos to the Buffalo Bills for passing up a NFL-ready quarterback, (Matt Leinart), and sticking with JP Losman. Confidence is crucial to a young quarterback’s success. Let us all pray that Michael Vick refuses to listen to coaches that attempt to make him a pro-style quarterback, because what is Monday Sportscenter without a crazy Michael Vick highlight?
May the fall season bring success to all the teams mentioned above (except the Royals, demote them already).
Maystrovsky can be reached at email@example.com.