The platonic guy friend – is there really such a thing or is it an oxymoron? According to the film “When Harry Met Sally” – the gospel of neurotic romantic comedies – no man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive and vice versa.

Even when they convince themselves that they are great friends, is there always that underlying question of “could we be more?” Are we just friends or are we just kidding ourselves?

I am not quite sure how it came to be, but I have ended up with a great group of guy friends. True, they probably prefer each other’s company to mine, since I don’t find dissecting large magnets, which they found in the woods on one of their adventure walks – true story – particularly stimulating.

However, sometimes boys are quite refreshing, especially those times when you simply think you are going to die if you have to tell another one of your female friends that she does not look fat and that, “No, I really don’t think you are slutty, even though you hooked up with two guys in one night.”

According to a recent study, 15 percent of the genes on the second X chromosome, which were once thought to be dormant and lethargic, are actually quite active in providing women with a significant increase in gene expression over men.

So basically all that extra gene expression explains why we are able to put on our make-up while driving and why we analyze a guy’s every move. With that said, sometimes it is nice to be around the, dare I say, simpler sex.

Back to the main question of friendship between guys and girls. I mean, looking for examples in pop culture – which as we know always accurately reflects real life – I found no solace. For example, “Friends” started off as a platonic orgy, but by the end of the series the show should have been renamed, “We used to be friends but now four of us are having babies together and one of us got a lousy spin-off deal.”

In the end, I think it comes down to whether you are willing to risk corroding a great friendship in exchange for an answer to the question of what the two of you could be.

Personally, I choose the friendship, but if I am not married by the time I am 30, that could definitely change. All I am saying is – don’t throw away anyone’s number.

Lepore can be reached at

mlepore@campustimes.org.



The eternal question, are we just friends?

Edward G. Miner Library, located on the first floor of URMC, serves as the medical center’s main academic health sciences library, with patrons including patients, staff, students, and faculty. Established in 1925 as part of URMC, Miner Library was built originally in the middle of the medical center to symbolize unity, bringing together the clinical […]

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