My best friend always talks about this amazing orgasm she had when her boyfriend hit the G-Spot. I can only have orgasms from masturbation or having my partner rub my clitoris. What is going on and where is my G-Spot? – O-so lost

Dear O-so lost,

Have no fear, you haven’t lost your G-Spot. It’s just hiding, right there against the anterior wall of your vagina. In other words, if you were to insert your fingers into your vagina, or have your partner do so, the G-Spot would be located toward your pubic bone. Still lost?

So are the experts. The G-Spot has been a hot topic, and a well disputed one, in orgasmic circles for some time. Some researchers even argue that the G-Spot should be renamed the G-Crest because the actual site, when aroused, resembles a more ridge-like structure than some magical oasis of a spot in your crotch.

Some experts also debate about whether this vaginal button exists.

Bottom-line, don’t stress if you can’t find the spot or have a vaginal orgasm. There actually isn’t any difference in physical measurements of the two orgasms. Your brain is playing tricks on you. Your brain may make the G-Spot orgasm feel more intense, but odds are you aren’t really shakin’ what you are bakin’ any more than when your clitoris is stimulated.

If you consider yourself the vigilant vaginal explorer, you’ll need some handy directions beforehand. Any simple vaginal guide will include some healthy tips.

First, don’t be too hard on yourself – literally. While the G-Spot may require insertion of two fingers and some pressure, this isn’t a rusty door you need to pound open. Second, the key is fun. Music, lights, no camera, action. Have fun finding your G-Spot with a partner or alone. If you find yourself being upset that you simply can’t find this elusive little pleasure buddy, don’t frown. Many women can’t, and in fact there is nothing wrong if you don’t. Third, if you feel the urge to suddenly urinate while searching, chances are you are closer than you think to finding gold. Many women have reported an urge to pee slightly before the G-Spot became pleasurable. Fourth, if in doubt always rely on your good friend the clitoris. Last, remember a finger here, a finger there, fingers everywhere. Happy hunting.

Got a love and relationship question that literally, ummm … burning? Ask the Love Goddess herself, Robin Tanner, at

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