Scorpio (Oct. 23?Nov. 21) ? Your entrepeneurial ingenuity is dying to be put to good use. That great idea you have could be a real money maker.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22?Dec 21) ? That secret infatuation with New Kids on the Block isn’t a secret anymore. Your roommate discovered your hidden mp3s. Don’t try to hide it. Revealing your obsession might get the attention of that special hottie.
Capricorn (Dec. 22?Jan. 19) ? Your social life has been a little lacking lately. Be creative. Buy a paint-by-number book or some play-doh and make some first class art. It will keep you busy, or just remind you of that horrible babysitting job you had.
Aquarius (Jan. 20?Feb. 18) ? Thanksgiving is coming and it’s time to cook that feast. Just don’t set the kitchen on fire again. Despite what she told you, your mom was pretty mad about that last year.
Pisces (Feb. 19?March 20) ? Start planning your spring break trip. It will make you happy, even though it’s four months away.
Aries (March 21?April 19) ? Pick up the phone and call your best bud you met at summer camp. Recalling the time you snuck out of your cabin to go skinny dipping in the lake will make you laugh.
Taurus (April 20?May 20) ? It’s too bad you missed your favorite band when they were on tour this past summer. But if you don’t stop sending oodles of stalker-like fan mail, your favorite band may go into hiding and never go near your hometown again.
Gemini (May 21?June 21) ? You’re hot and you know it. The problem is that everyone else knows that you know you’re hot. Try controlling your ego a bit, everyone will appreciate it.
Cancer (June 22?July 22) ? Your daily immune-boosting herbal supplement isn’t doing the best job at keeping the germs away. Making turkey soup and resting over Thanksgiving break is just what you need.
Leo (July 23?Aug. 22) ? So you think you’re pretty clever with your ability to make everyone believe your crazy stories. Just be careful. Not everyone has the detective skills to pick out your tales from your truths, and your constant toying with their mind is taxing on their mental well-being.
Virgo (Aug. 23?Sept. 22) ? Forget that saying that the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math. The people who made that up weren’t lucky. You, on the other hand, are. So go get yourself a ticket.
Libra (Sept. 23?Oct. 22) ? Life has been dull lately. Do something crazy. Skydiving is just the kind of adventure you need.
(If you actually believe this, you’re goofy. This is not to be taken seriously.)