Scorpio (Oct. 23?Nov. 21) ? Get out of your room and off your computer. Stop organizing your mp3s and your filing cabinet and go out and have some fun before the next round of midterms.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22?Dec 21) ? Give in to your creative urges and pick up that paint brush. Let out some of that energy you’ve been holding in. You’ll be that much closer to Zen enlightenment.
Capricorn (Dec. 22?Jan. 19) ? This week got you down? Enjoy an old pastime and revive your boy band fetish. Wear your Backstreet Boys concert T-shirt to lab, it will cheer you up.
Aquarius (Jan. 20?Feb. 18) ? Acknowledge your halo is held up by horns. Even if everyone thinks you’re an angel, we know the real truth. Work on eating that humble pie.
Pisces (Feb. 19?March 20) ? Cheer up a friend with your amazing comic talent. If you’re not funny, bring them chocolate, that always works.
Aries (March 21?April 19) ? We know you’ve been juggling dates with those various crushes, but you better hurry up and pick someone before they find out about each other. What are you waiting for?
Taurus (April 20?May 20) ? So you think you’re God’s gift to Earth with that new ride you’re about to get. But you better stop bragging about it or you’re not going to have any passengers in that car.
Gemini (May 21?June 21) ? We know you think you’re pimpin’ in your new sandblasted jeans and new winter wardrobe. But you better watch how much money is flowing out of your wallet or you’ll be hitchhiking home for Thanksgiving.
Cancer (June 22?July 22) ? Sure the past week has been a little rough. Give yourself a break and do something mindless like watching reruns of the Tom Green Show. You might actually be happy to pick up your books again.
Leo (July 23?Aug. 22) ? Roar like the lion that you are. Stop blending in and wear that hot magenta sweater thats been hiding in the bottom of your drawer. You’ll have fun, even if others have to look away.
Virgo (Aug. 23?Sept. 22) ? You’re beautiful, you’re wonderful and everybody loves you. But that’s not helping your D in economics, so start going to class.
Libra (Sept. 23?Oct. 22) ? Quit your passive-aggressive ways and tell your friends what’s up. Not everyone has the detective skills to decipher your cryptic depressed away messages on AIM. Talk to them about it and everything will be hunky-dory.
(If you actually believe this, you’re silly. This is not to be taken seriously.)