I’ll be honest: I’m still a little hurt that my 5K Challenge proposal was denied. On many occasions, I’ve heard people express interest in a pasta bar at the Pit. I, like many of my peers, love to eat pasta. I mean, if you’re not into pasta, you must be way healthier than me.

What better food to eat away your sorrows with than a heaping plate of pesto spaghetti? I guess we’ll just have to come to grips with the fact that the closest available fresh pasta dispensary is a long trek away at the Med Center, but a trek well-worth the 15-mile walk.

In the spirit of not being a sore loser, I voted for my favorite 5K Challenge submission. It’s awesome that our campus has an initiative where students have a direct impact. I hope you all took the time to vote for your favorite submission, too. So without further ado, let’s take a look into the future and see what would happen if some of the submissions (in no particular order) are implemented…

1. Fragrant Plants under the Douglass Bridge: This proposal aims to place plants under the Douglass Bridge to mask the smell of the dishwasher.

This one sounds pretty practical. I can’t help but feel bad for the plants, though.

2. Standing desks: This proposal aims to install standing desks in the libraries in order to provide students an alternative way to study.

I think this could actually work in Gleason. Gleason has to be one of the least conducive places on campus to getting work done. Now, instead of sitting around and doing nothing, you can stand around and do nothing!

3. Gym vending machine: This proposal aims to place a vending machine in Georgen Athletic Center that would dispense reasonably -priced workout supplements and free diet/recipe pamphlets.

Oh, great—another thing that reminds me of how I don’t work out enough.

4. Swings on campus: This proposal aims to place swing sets on the quad for recreational purposes.

Wow. I wish I had thought of this. Maybe if I pump hard enough on the swings, I can finally get on the top of Rush Rhees. Are swing injuries covered by University insurance?

5. More whiteboards in Gleason: This proposal aims to place more whiteboards in Gleason Library, as there is a large demand for them—especially during final exam periods.

This submission both helps and hinders scientific advancement. Maybe someone will come solve my calculus problems like I was promised when touring campus as a prospie. On the other hand, if there are a ton of whiteboards in Gleason, we won’t be perpetuating Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” anymore.

So there you have it. Only time will tell which submission wins. Either way, here’s to hoping that someday, somehow, UR students can stay on campus and get fresh pasta. Maybe we can use some of our endowment money.



5K Challenge 2016 Analysis

“Afterglow” was meant to be a deluxe version of the original “EUSEXUA,” but instead took on a life of its own, running away into a drug-fuelled night filled with grimy DJs and hallucinations from one too many bumps. Read More

5K Challenge 2016 Analysis

The motivation for TOOP’s production is the opposite of the traditional gender roles the plot reifies. It is a painting of contradictions. Read More

5K Challenge 2016 Analysis

I had hoped that Lanthimos would make more substantial changes than swapping the gender of the central character and adding a dramatic musical score to make this story his own. Over its two-hour runtime, this thrilling comedy dabbles in the world of conspiracy theories, aliens, and human existence, but fails to leave a lasting impact. Read More