I’m sick of all this Ohio slander. Whenever there are memes about a state, it’s always Ohio Ohio Ohio. Ohio isn’t even that bad: It has the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, it has Cedar Point, it has… the National Museum of the US Air Force? 

Anyways, Ohio does not deserve the hate when there are clearly far worse offenders in this country. This brings me to my argument.


Delaware is not a real state. 

Let me explain. I am from New Jersey, which directly borders “Delaware,” Pennsylvania, and New York. I’ve been to Pennsylvania and New York multiple times, and not just to Philadelphia and NYC, but I have never been to “Delaware” except to cross over to go to another state.

I swear, the only tourist attraction in “Delaware” is the Joe Biden Welcome Center that you enter when you cross the border. It’s a nice welcome center, even though it sells “Delaware” propaganda merchandise. If you google “top sights in Delaware,” the first option is the Air Mobility Command Museum. What even is air mobility command?

Now, you might be asking “What about Joe Biden? He’s from Delaware.” That’s probably because that’s the only thing you actually know about the state. If you look on his Wikipedia page, it does say that he went to the University of Delaware before getting his law degree, then he later became a Senator for the state. First of all, let me just say that the University of Delaware’s mascot is the Blue Hens. That’s only slightly less weird than Notre Dame’s Fighting Irish (but still much better than RISD’s mascot). There’s also Hamilton College’s mascot, which is literally Alexander Hamilton, as in the character from the hit musical Hamilton (and also a Founding Father, I guess).

Anyways, back to my point. It would look pretty bad for Biden if he had no political experience before becoming Vice President, right? He would have had no credibility at all. Therefore, he fabricated the state of “Delaware” in order to give himself some fake credentials as a Senator, thus lending him some legitimacy when campaigning. And everyone believed him. That’s why “Delaware” has the Biden Welcome Center— because the state was made just for him.

Of course, Donald Trump then proceeded to become President of the United States without a single political or military credit to his name, so I guess Biden’s efforts were unnecessary. Regardless, the damage was done, and “Delaware” was now widely accepted to be a state.

Actually, I posted a similar rant about “Delaware” on my Instagram story a while back. Well, it turns out I posted it on the same day that a tornado struck “Delaware” for the first time in more than 20 years. I’m sure it’s because the government knows I’m catching onto them, so they need to create a newsworthy disaster to make the state look more real. I’m onto you, FBI.

Sorry if you’re offended, Delawarians. Is that what you call yourselves? Your state doesn’t exist, so it’s not like anyone would know. It’s okay, because you’re not alone. I’m from Central Jersey, which also doesn’t exist.

But who knows, maybe this is all just a conspiracy to make people direct their hate towards a state other than New Jersey…



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