The UR Psychology Department recently released a statement about the discovery of a secret game run by five undergraduate psychology students. The students made bets on which major they thought they could get to burn down our beloved Rush Rhees Library, and then tried to manipulate their selected major into doing so.
The students in question were two seniors and three juniors, who had bet a minimum of $20 on their selected major, and the winner not only received all the cash, but also a month of Connections bagels and cold brew. According to one of the players of the game, who asked to go by Sigmund Freud, they were not going to be the only winners of this game.
“Well, you know that thing where if you get hit by a University bus you get free tuition?” said Freud. “We wanted to try to see if Rush Rhees went down, would everyone automatically graduate with our degrees? Because that would be a catastrophe for UR. I am sure like 80% of people came here because of the iconic Rush Rhees picture. It’s like UR’s biggest selling point.”
The rules were simple. Each player was to:
- Pick a major which they thought would contain vulnerable students.
- Focus their attention on one student in the major.
- Mentally break down and manipulate that student into burning down Rush Rhees.
Freud revealed to CT which majors were picked: Biology, Epidemiology, Computer Science, English, and Mechanical Engineering.
The names of the selected targets are being kept from the public for privacy reasons, but when talking to Freud, I was curious to know which one of the MechEs they chose, because I major in Mechanical Engineering. Freud went quiet all of the sudden. After a nice pregnant pause, I inquired, “It’s me, isn’t it?” The most Freud could do was politely nod and inform me that a nice sum of money was placed on my head. It’s always nice to know when someone believes in you.
The tactics to manipulate the prey were as follows:
The Biology student’s email was spammed with statistics on what GPA and extracurricular activities get you into medical school. Every time they came out of class, they heard a student bragging about how hard the class was but they were “barely” getting As on all tests and assignments. The person who picked the Epidemiology student was banking that the current events and UR COVID-19 policy would do the student in.
The Computer Science student was barraged with endless people asking the CS student if they could fix their computer issues for them when there were no problems with the technology at all. The English student was harassed with people asking them sarcastically what they were going to do after college, and when they tried to convince them that there were many career options for them, they were met with a scoff of, “I guess.”
No actions were taken for me. When I asked why, Freud responded, “Well. Look at you.” I was a little confused by this statement, so I inquired a little further. Freud said I knew what they were talking about. I don’t think I do, but I do know one thing: Nothing hurts anymore after not meeting the goal I set for myself at 4 years old of becoming a Power Ranger by 15 years old.
No consequences will be given to the students involved in the bet. A statement by the Psychology Department said it was because “Rush Rhees is intact, the students aren’t too banged up, and it was some good hustle.”