Illustration by Reed Steiner
“Rice. Cheddar cheese. Ranch.” A tall thin man in a peacoat — we’ll call him Trent — is standing in line at Freshens. He’s on the phone while ordering, and seems to have devolved into a caveman-like manner of speech where complete sentences don’t exist. Instead of “Hi, may I have brown rice please?” or “I’ll have spinach and lettuce,” this man has reduced his communications to pointing and neolithic utterances.
The one complete sentence to come out of his mouth is “More ranch — I’ll tell you when.”
“Keep going.”
We know you really love loading your bowl up with cajun ranch, but your mother taught you how to treat others with a modicum of respect, Trent.
“Keep going.”
Even if she didn’t, you’re an adult now. You should be old enough to know that the people who serve you food every day — an integral and very necessary part of this campus — are deserving of common courtesy.
“Keep going.”
That napkin you left on the board last week in all caps berating chefs for “MORE PASTA” misses the mark. There’s a correct way to give feedback, and Dining Services encourage it. Cam Schauf, director of Dining Services, is willing to sit down with any student and hash things out. Chefs respond personally to every single napkin comment. If it’s a voice you want, you have it. They’ll hear you, you don’t have to shout, Trent.
“Keep going.”
Listen, Trent, just because it’s their job doesn’t mean the workers at dining services are less deserving of the incredibly fascinating and surprisingly helpful terms known as “please” and “thank you.” You may have heard of them, but in times of stress they’re easy to forget — that’s still not an excuse. Acting as if the people who make and serve you food are somehow below you, and therefore don’t need you to express your gratitude, is unbelievably selfish.
“Stop.”