On Sept. 28, 1989, the Campus Times ran a very special story that verifies just how cool our school used to be. The MTV game show ‘Remote Control” toured the country, picking 25 elite party schools to have their students participate as contestants. But, it was the ’80s, a time when MTV had just sold its soul and begun its long downward spiral to its current state of brain-cell-diminishing reality shows. One can only hear so many hair-extensions uprooted from acrylic addicted hos’ heads whilst they poetically scream ‘bitch stole my man!” so many times before wondering if any music will actually be played on the supposed ‘music” television station.

Demonstrating our overpriced educations as well as our beer pong abilities, the Students’ Association managed to awaken from their drunken stupor to haggle the price from $25,000 to a mere $12,500! By using this money, apparently tickets were sold at a lower price, a mere $5 for UR students! And yet, I had to pay $10 to see Fabulous sing other people’s songs.

Auditions for the show were held in Strong Auditorium, and apparently ran for six grueling hours. Colin Quinn, of ‘Saturday Night Live” Weekend Update fame, was a co-host of the show. But, Colin Quinn, most likely filming early versions of ‘A Night at the Roxbury” with a young Will Ferrell in Chris Kattan’s Mom’s basement, didn’t show up on the day of auditions.

Still, the show must go on. The Student Activities Board was brought in to help judge the wannabe contestants. SAB co-chair Liz Cogliano was at the American Idol-esque scene.
‘We’re looking for the middle man,” Cogliano said. ‘Different varieties of people with good personalities.”

Lizzy was obviously an incredible expert.

‘Remote Control” apparently began with a 15-minute stand-up comedy routine by one of the show’s two comedians: either a young, sexy Adam Sandler or some other guy no one knows about. The show, usually filmed in co-host Ken Ober’s basement, was filmed in a UR dorm room.

A highlight?

‘During the game, giant snacks will be thrown out into the audience for a “snack break.'”
One begs the question, what basement-centered activities were being done pre-filming that require ‘giant” snacks? My guess is that very special brownies were involved pre- and post-filming.

The finalists of each show received an all-expense paid trip to the big city no, not Buffalo &- to appear on a taping of ‘Remote Control” for future airing on MTV.
See, UR? We were once the epitome of cool. Now, we have SIMCON.

Also, important notice, according to an ad in this issue, the Mane Attraction used to be called the Wilson Commons Hair Company. Just putting that out there.

Schneier is a member of the class of 2011.

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