Aries (March 21-April 19) – Going to a private college is like living in a bubble or, in Rochester’s case, a snow globe.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) – If you’re naughty around Christmas time, you’ll get coal from Santa, but diamonds from your boyfriend!

Gemini (May 21-June 21) – Strip dreidel is a lot of fun, unless the girls have latke breasts.

Cancer (June 22-July 22) – Dreaming of a white Christmas? There’s a guy across the bridge who might be able to help you out.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) – As the only engineer at the campus’s swinger party, you’ll think it only right that you start the train.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) – Motor oil isn’t the only lubricant whose smell is impossible to wash off your hands.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) – While working on applications, you won’t be able to remember if the health admissions adviser emphasized nailing the interview or the interviewer.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) – Just as dogs smell fear and attack, men can smell women’s desperation.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) – Trying to save cash this holiday season? Break up with your girlfriend and reconcile after! Repeat at the beginning of February.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) – With the last real weekend of the semester upon us, stoners won’t be the only high men to get destroyed on Saturday!

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) – As a grown woman, you’ve found that hot chocolate isn’t the only hot liquid to drink to warm up.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) – While working on a design project, you’ll begin to wonder where the inventor of the ear muff got his inspiration.

(If you actually believe this, then you believe this semester has gone by fast.)

Notes by Nadia: The importance of being a good listener

I hope that more people can value the act of listening attentively and positively responding to conversations.

Misogyny and bigotry plague the heavy music scene

Bands fronted by people of color, queer folk, and feminine-presenting people have always existed, but because their white, cisgender male counterparts overshadow them, they struggle to find and build a following and are often belittled for their musical skill.

Blindspots: Unconditional aid is turning Israel into a rogue state

This unconditional aid has empowered a small regional power to drift further and further from international accountability.