Actually, there are no free tacos. There are never free tacos. Free tacos always come with a cost. That cost might not mean you have to pay any money, but there’s always a catch – support this cause, this candidate, learn about how the Mexicans who made those tacos are being abused, etc. And whatever tacos there are come from Taco Bell, where good taste goes to die.

Why are there no deliciously warm and fresh tacos, even when the headline above suggested there would be? Because life is not fair.

“Life is not fair” is the saying that delivers a solid roundhouse kick to your gut. “Life is not fair” has been told to everyone cut down by “the man.”

“Life is not fair” has been the mantra of our parents and friends whenever we were denied that one thing that really meant something to us – damn it Mom, I want my Moon Boots! Dad, why can’t I have a trampoline? All the other kids have one!

Why not? Because, “Life is not fair.” Each of us remembers those experiences when we were denied success because a higher being, in His infinite wisdom, thought it best. And all of us vowed that when we grew up, we’d never let life be unfair to us again.

The downtrodden, depressd and downright disdained have heard this so often that they come to bitterly accept the philosophy. It is not hard to blame them, with the number of setbacks they’ve suffered.

These people, those whose computers have frozen on them in the middle of writing the most important essay of their life, can hardly deny it. These people, who have had the police pull them over for speeding a mere ten miles per hour over the speed limit while the jerk in the Ferrari goes racing by at 100 mph are all too aware life is unfair.

But fear not, victims. When hope seems to have abandoned you, there is another force to combat the evils of life. It is named “karma,” and I embrace it unflinchingly.

If life seems unfair, believe that it will get better, because the world will even itself out. Embrace karma because it will bring stability to your life. And to all those who pompously gloat that life is unfair, all the while living the high life – karma will balance you out, too.

I lamented the cancellation of the hysterically funny “Arrested Development” when the Fox Network – a channel that could not identify a winner if it was covered in rose garlands and standing in the “Winner’s Circle” -axed the show when it could just not get enough viewers, despite being the best thing to happen to television since ESPN was founded in 1979.

But in all times of darkness there is a light. The void left by “Arrested Development” has been filled magnificently by “My Name is Earl,” which is performing quite nicely in the ratings – and, coincidentally, is about karma.

So when people tell you that “life is not fair,” do not fret – where there may be a vacancy in your life, that hole will soon be filled by the warmth of a hot, sumptuous taco – no strings attached.

Brenneman can be reached atrbrenneman@campustimes.org.



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