The Campus Crime Connection, after reporting on countless juvenile infractions and recognizing the imminent reign of President-elect Joel Seligman, has decided UR should seriously consider removing undergraduates from the campus as a step toward increasing UR’s reputation.Frankly, our undergraduate student body is just childish. We have students smoking up in the back rooms of Wilson Commons. We have students trashing our skate rinks. We have students ripping up seats while they are drunk. What we don’t have is a strong incentive to keep these mindless buffoons off our beautiful campus.After all, how much do undergraduates really contribute to UR? Very little.They whine, moan, complain, get drunk, smoke pot, steal trays, egg cars and cause wanton destruction. And for what? A measly $32,000 a year?No, sir. The CCC asks UR to put its foot down. Stop this insanity, this lunacy and ameliorate this condition. UR lags behind peer institutions in this field. It is time for UR to again lead the field in university ass covering, as it did in the case of Napster.Undergraduates, you know your time has come. No more sweet talk. No more babying from tight-lipped Matt Burns. We have two words for you – “Go home!”
date
Undergrads annoy
Chat, did I make a mistake? I went on a date with the voices in my head and I liked it. It was a bit of an unplanned date, but what else are you supposed to do when none of your friends will have dinner with you? Read More
Climate Change
Undergrads annoy
We teach the Dust Bowl as a cautionary tale. In every American history class, we learn how farmers in the 1920s and 1930s tore up millions of acres of native grassland across the Great Plains to plant wheat, how the deep-rooted prairie grasses that held the soil and trapped moisture were replaced by shallow crops and bare fields, and, when drought came in 1930, how the exposed topsoil turned to dust. Read More
director
Undergrads annoy
Anderson’s research — which centers on leadership development and the systems-level changes needed to improve educational outcomes, especially in historically underserved communities — made her an especially attractive candidate. Read More
