Reducing pressure increases pleasure

I have a problem with my girlfriend running away in the bedroom. She likes it when I go down on her and if I am able to keep her from running away by holding her down it usually doesn’t take more than three of four minutes before she has an orgasm. The problem is she says that after a few seconds it feels too good and she starts having to pee so I have to stop. Do you have any suggestions on how I can make it less intense but get the same effect or any suggestions to her so that will be able to stand it?~Nice and SlowDear Nice and Slow,There are several different approaches you may want to take with your girlfriend. The two of you may want to discuss alternatives to oral sex if the situation has become too embarrassing or pressuring. It’s not a question of her “standing it,” but rather the mutual enjoyment and intimacy you can both express. In addition, there are some ways to reduce the pressure on both of you. It is easy to begin to think of sex as a 50-meter dash with an orgasm at the finish line. Instead, try thinking of it as a soccer game with multiple goals, whether they be orgasms, moments of pleasure or even making her feel sensual. If she is not held down and does not feel any pressure to have an orgasm, she may ultimately be more inclined to climax. Her urge to pee is very likely resulting from stimulation of her G-spot. If she has spoken with her doctor and no other physical reasons are present, then it is most likely due to this region. Where is this magical oasis? It is within her vagina, toward the anterior wall, about an inch in. This is almost unavoidable contact.An alternative then, is to avoid all contact to the interior of the vagina during oral sex. Try stimulating her to orgasm simply via the clitoris. Last, communicate throughout sex with your girlfriend. This will allow both of you to more clearly identify when the urge to pee is arising, what may be inciting it, and the best method to work with that in your sex lives. Even if she doesn’t reach orgasm, communication during sex will ensure a more intimate, fun event for all. Got a love and relationship question that’s literally, ummm … burning? Ask our Love Goddess, Robin Tanner, at ctfeats@hotmail.com.