UR Joking

UR forced to build new dorms out of something besides asbestos

ResLife Director claims UR is totally unable to heat and insulate buildings without asbestos: "We only have so many trash cans that we can build fires in."

Public Safety requests guns to ensure the safety of a completely deserted campus

Public Safety director Clark Livingston took the CT on a tour of all the potentially dangerous locations where students currently aren't.

CDCS found dead in Miami

Miami law enforcement found the site facedown in a drainage ditch after an extended spring break. CDCS is survived by Blackboard, Bluehive, and UR Student.

I tried to do D-Day at my home and now my parents think I have a drinking problem

In these trying times, I deserve a bacchanal. And like going on Disneychannel.com, I would just have to get my parent’s permission first.

I am braver than any U.S. Marine for reading the Humor Editor email archives

The Humor inbox is like the ocean — if you go really deep, farther than sunlight and the reach of God, you find truly alien creatures. Take a dive with me!

UR student stuck at Whipple Park Blue Line stop for over a month

The student, a first-year named Ursula Munds-Gurganus, had been buying Tide Pods at CVS and lunching at Chipotle for the third time in two days.

How to telepathically kill someone who doesn’t know how to mute their zoom microphone

If they had only turned off their mic, things would be different — but the idiocy is unforgivable. They must be the sacrificial lamb.

An open letter to the girl we saw pick her nose on Zoom

Thanks to Zoom we are, despite our physical distance, now closer to our peers than ever before. And it turns out being close to our peers fucking sucks.

What do Sports Editors do when there are no sports?

Normally my duties include watching sports, talking to people who play sports, and writing about sports. These days I mostly just watch cockroach racing.

UR seniors excited to watch virtual commencement with their parents, painfully hungover

Students claim that being hungover for virtual commencement would not be noticeably different from a traditional in-person ceremony.