UR Joking
age of technology
System.out.println(“Coding on paper.”);
I enjoy the occasional coding problem, as the differently-colored special words scratch a certain itch deep, deep down in my monkey brain.
disinformation
The solution to all of your problems
I feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins, giving me the power of 10 elephants. With one vitamin gummy, I can lift cars.
2010's bangers
Sports! A layman’s perspective
7:19: They warm up? Music was cut, and now they're just playing. The puck is very small, and I cannot see anything.
fight club
Take snow prisoners: I will murder you in a snowball fight
My snowball-induced reign of terror left me in a social tundra of my own creation, surrounded by icy silence and the accusatory stares of melting snowmen.
coffee
Join the spiritual war against Starbucks
Every day, we have to monitor what we do, think, wear, and how we should customize our latte, just for the approval of the man. Enough.
boobies
Let’s get lost! A wholesome travel tale
I’ve traveled abroad myself and can tell you two essentials you must bring along — a friend who can speak Spanish, and a pair of nice tits.
777
5 a.m. deliriousness
Out of 10 games of chance, I would always lose at least nine. The few games I did win were always won because the other players pitied me.
betrayal
Blueberries, otherwise known as canned peaches.
In beautiful, all-caps Times New Roman, there it is, between “OVERNIGHT OATS” and “GREEK YOGURT.” In all of its glory, “BLUEBERRIES.”
backrooms
The basement of Carlson Library is literally the backrooms
No one comes here to hang out. Only to come close to a mental breakdown and hammer out the worst problem set known to man.
Bird
Did you hear a bird today?
Every morning, I wake up early and run around campus, chirping loud enough so people would be able to hear me, even deep in their sleep.
