UR Joking

UR Plagued: A Passover tale

At the start of this month, I decided to embrace the holiday and reread the story of Passover to put myself in the shoes of my ancestors.

The major flaws with each major in STEM

I felt safe writing this article, mostly because I am operating under the assumption that only a small fraction of STEM majors can actually read anything other than scatter plots and Python.

8 ways to make friends during a pandemic (#4 will SHOCK you!)

In these unprecedented, never-before-seen, new, foreign, unexplored times of quarantine, it’s more important than ever to remember that humans are social creatures. 

What to do with your Campus Times stickers

Here at UR, in an effort to be ever better and ever quirkier, several students have asked how to make this new merch really shine. Thus, here are a couple ideas on how to rep the CT brand (but not like all those other stickerers).

Drink to the future: How one student became a psychic

So how did Noah Dafuture, a UR junior, gain his psychic powers? Dafuture attributes his success to drinking the mysterious liquid found inside a Magic 8 Ball.

The beeping revolution: A timeline of events

The alarms became more and more regular. Soon enough they were ringing every day in Wilco. There were endless complaints. They had no idea how much ruin was in store for us all.

Tips and tricks to acquire a declining daddy

Success is not guaranteed. Results may vary. Talk to your Doctor (Chatbot) if you think a Declining Daddy may be right for you.

Junior sets prestigious record for amount of student organization rejections

As of this semester, a Rochester junior has successfully been rejected from all 359 clubs and organizations on campus. Chad Spike, who wished to remain anomalous, spent three years getting kicked out, turned away, and barred entry from literally every organization on campus. 

How the Boy Scouts failed nine year old me

You may or may not know this, but the Cub Scouts have their own version of Girl Scout cookies. For the non-suburbanites, they call it Boy Scout popcorn.

Mystery upstairs: What’s that noise?

I swear I’m returning to a primitive amoeba-like state now that all my classes are virtual. We’re only three weeks in and already I’m going crazy.