UR Joking

UR students report actual work was assigned on syllabus week

The beginning of the new semester is a time cherished by all. But students have come face-to-face with a terrifying new development: actual assignments.

Student plans on wearing same blue-and-white striped shirt (wrinkled, no tie) to three Formals

Sophomore and Kendrick Hall resident Nathan LaGuardia-Karsh said he came to this decision after absolutely no soul-searching or consideration.

Just finals things: stories from the library

Deep within the stacks, first-year Rudolph Redmond's shoulders were low and his neck bent. The ghosts of Webworks past seemed to haunt him.

CT Feet: Open letter to UR’s toe neanderthals

We can’t continue to fake surprise at outbreaks of foot-mouth disease when Brad over here keeps rubbing his athlete’s foot all over the classroom walls.

CT Feet: I kidnap other students and steal their shoes, and you should too

Kidnapping (or as we say in the industry, “assisted vacation”) can be an exciting way to make quick cash, as well as some new friends!

Confused student learns that snow is not just a euphemism for cocaine

The would-be snow dealer, whose request for anonymity the Campus Times granted, hails from New Orleans, which may explain his confusion. 

Meridians walk forward into the future

“This is a total game-changer,” said Meridians leader Kim Crosby, "especially after the first generation of Meridians all stumbled like baby gazelles."

UR suggests ‘box, stick, and string approach’ as declining daddy alternative 

The traps, part of a UR initiative entitled “I Don’t See Why You Should Be Entitled to Food,” will be available for pick-up at dining halls this Tuesday.

The Demon Girl Who Lives in the Tunnels: Satanic snowday!

Raised in the warm bowels of Hell, the coldest I ever got was when they blasted the AC in Hellementary School. But that doesn't mean I wasted my snow day!

Ever Better CDCS

No amount of rearranging your labs and workshops will ever make Orgo go away, you poor suckers. Dump those "required" courses and take these ones instead!