An open letter to the girl we saw pick her nose on Zoom
Thanks to Zoom we are, despite our physical distance, now closer to our peers than ever before. And it turns out being close to our peers fucking sucks.
What do Sports Editors do when there are no sports?
Normally my duties include watching sports, talking to people who play sports, and writing about sports. These days I mostly just watch cockroach racing.
UR seniors excited to watch virtual commencement with their parents, painfully hungover
Students claim that being hungover for virtual commencement would not be noticeably different from a traditional in-person ceremony.
CS class becomes sentient after move to Zoom, immediately starts watching porn
CSC 214: Intro to Nifty Computer Tricks was seen recognizing its own reflection in mirrors and also watching porn.
Letter to the Editor: In further defense of coronas
“People are buying up all of everything in the stores: toilet paper, smoked meats, puppies. So I bought 48 bottles of Corona.”
Heartbreaking: Without PRR, UR student must procrastinate in parent’s basement
“Well just because I don’t have pretty surroundings like the PRR doesn’t mean I can’t still spend 40 minutes making the perfect Instagram story post to show how productive and hardworking I am with my aesthetic notes.”