Humor

An open letter to the girl we saw pick her nose on Zoom

Thanks to Zoom we are, despite our physical distance, now closer to our peers than ever before. And it turns out being close to our peers fucking sucks.

What do Sports Editors do when there are no sports?

Normally my duties include watching sports, talking to people who play sports, and writing about sports. These days I mostly just watch cockroach racing.

Bernie Sanders continues to exist

Sanders hopes that coronavirus strengthens the case for Medicare for All, which would make finding out your hospital has run out of ventilators free.

UR seniors excited to watch virtual commencement with their parents, painfully hungover

Students claim that being hungover for virtual commencement would not be noticeably different from a traditional in-person ceremony.

Zoom class derailed by UR student’s dog

At first, aside from the occasional student from a different university using the wrong Zoom link, everything was normal. Then the dog entered the picture.

Demon Girl: Sick as Hell 2, COVID-boogaloo

I’ve heard a lot of people describing the coronavirus situation as “hell.” Sorry friends, but Hell is much worse. I know from experience.

CS class becomes sentient after move to Zoom, immediately starts watching porn

CSC 214: Intro to Nifty Computer Tricks was seen recognizing its own reflection in mirrors and also watching porn.

Letter to the Editor: In further defense of coronas

“People are buying up all of everything in the stores: toilet paper, smoked meats, puppies. So I bought 48 bottles of Corona.”

Heartbreaking: Without PRR, UR student must procrastinate in parent’s basement

“Well just because I don’t have pretty surroundings like the PRR doesn’t mean I can’t still spend 40 minutes making the perfect Instagram story post to show how productive and hardworking I am with my aesthetic notes.”

How I learned to stop worrying and love the sqURm

Armed with an R&D survey and a budget of $0, I set out to create a new mascot for UR's largest demographic: those nerds who failed the Pacer Test.