Humor

Funk tribunal dooms UR band to eternity of groove

The tribunal sought to review the legitimacy of first-year fusioneers “Nut Butter” as an heir to the greasy throne of River Campus funk.

CT Recommends: Wikipedia

The official Campus Times guide to using Wikipedia! Pro-tip: Be sure not to get Google.com’s and Wikipedia’s “search bars” confused. They look very alike.

Heroic Late Night Doug worker goes another weekend without killing any students

“God has abandoned Late Night, that’s for sure. He’s off the clock for those hours.”

The definitive UR bathroom rankings

I somehow constantly need to pee, so I am uniquely qualified to discuss and rate our campus bathrooms. Why? Because it needs to be done.

Make crazy money while still going to school with this one weird trick!

Getting a part time job at the University seems like a good idea, but you should avoid doing so at all costs. Here are three easy steps to make mega moolah in college!

Seligman breaks ground on University of Rochester, Minnesota

"Today, we bring the spirit of Meliora to the Med City!" the parka-clad president began as he went to dig the foundation of Barnes & Noble Hall.

New study finds majority of Eastman students are three chandeliers piled inside a trench coat

Professors are admitting that, in hindsight, the study’s findings should have been obvious from the start.

Yellowjackets blow out Patriots in Super Bowl surprise

UR Football’s 76–3 victory over the New England Patriots at Super Bowl LIII last Sunday left everyone reeling from the improbable result.

Jaeger uses Fortnite skin to relate to students

Despite purchasing the "Jaeger Primal Hunter" outfit, the professor has yet to rank in the top 75 of a 100-person game.

Choose your own blizzard/nor’easter/geostorm

Use a SAD Lamp? Attend a wedding? Wear an obscenely expensive coat? Devour a classmate? In this Choose Your Own Adventure Game, it's all up to you!