Humor

The wolf t-shirt you got from the cousin who likes magic tricks and theme parks

Cousin Rick likes magic tricks and Six Flags. He owns three Fushigis. He lives más. And now he's gone and bought you a shirt.

CT Recommends: Headbutting

People often don’t know how to respond to an unexpected headbutt, but such strange behavior is objectively amusing to some.

Argument breaks out in first-year quad over who is the most pre-med pre-med

In a particularly heated moment, onlookers reported that it appeared one student tried to papercut another using her laminated CV. 

CT Life Skills: How to eat food

Some criteria to keep in mind: Is the thing you want to eat moving? If so, it may be alive or a car, and therefore very difficult to catch and eat.

Engineering expo promises “New opportunities for misery and death in the Middle East”

“We hope students will take this opportunity to get in on the ground floor of unmitigated slaughter,” a UR Career Center representative told the CT.

Letter to the Editor: In Defense of Coronas

Why does everyone keep talking about Coronas coming from China? It’s definitely a Mexican beer. My Mom says I go to a New Ivy and am very intelligent.

Ken Jennings crowned king of ‘Jeopardy!,’ becomes vaguely famous

Jennings defeated longtime rival Brad Rutter and newcomer James Holzhauer, and is now even occasionally recognized when walking down the street. 

The Official Campus Times Alternative Oscars

In the interest of helping the Academy understand what it missed, CT has assembled a worthy alternative. Presenting... the first nominees for the Wilfords!

UR students report actual work was assigned on syllabus week

The beginning of the new semester is a time cherished by all. But students have come face-to-face with a terrifying new development: actual assignments.

Demon Girl: Arizona isn’t Hell, but it’s almost as hot

Shoutout to the three Customs and Border Protection agents whose souls we ate. Sometimes you just need a little junk food.