Humor
Narratives
The wolf t-shirt you got from the cousin who likes magic tricks and theme parks
Cousin Rick likes magic tricks and Six Flags. He owns three Fushigis. He lives más. And now he's gone and bought you a shirt.
UR Joking
CT Recommends: Headbutting
People often don’t know how to respond to an unexpected headbutt, but such strange behavior is objectively amusing to some.
UR Joking
Argument breaks out in first-year quad over who is the most pre-med pre-med
In a particularly heated moment, onlookers reported that it appeared one student tried to papercut another using her laminated CV.
CT Life Skills
CT Life Skills: How to eat food
Some criteria to keep in mind: Is the thing you want to eat moving? If so, it may be alive or a car, and therefore very difficult to catch and eat.
Political Comedy
Engineering expo promises “New opportunities for misery and death in the Middle East”
“We hope students will take this opportunity to get in on the ground floor of unmitigated slaughter,” a UR Career Center representative told the CT.
Satire
Letter to the Editor: In Defense of Coronas
Why does everyone keep talking about Coronas coming from China? It’s definitely a Mexican beer. My Mom says I go to a New Ivy and am very intelligent.
Narratives
Ken Jennings crowned king of ‘Jeopardy!,’ becomes vaguely famous
Jennings defeated longtime rival Brad Rutter and newcomer James Holzhauer, and is now even occasionally recognized when walking down the street.
movies
The Official Campus Times Alternative Oscars
In the interest of helping the Academy understand what it missed, CT has assembled a worthy alternative. Presenting... the first nominees for the Wilfords!
UR Joking
UR students report actual work was assigned on syllabus week
The beginning of the new semester is a time cherished by all. But students have come face-to-face with a terrifying new development: actual assignments.
Narratives
Demon Girl: Arizona isn’t Hell, but it’s almost as hot
Shoutout to the three Customs and Border Protection agents whose souls we ate. Sometimes you just need a little junk food.
