Humor
UR Joking
Slim Goodbody is back, baby!
Slim Goodbody is the bane of worlds, and the conqueror of hearts and minds. He is enshrouded in fear, mystery, and a 4000 dollar costume.
UR Joking
First-years officially classified as invasive species
Based on the first-years’ recent growth patterns, it is imperative to curb the first-year infestation before they take over Burton and Crosby as well.
Dean Runner
Does Jeff Runner even run? The answer may shock you!
We ran a poll, and, astoundingly, of the four people we asked, not a single person reported having ever seen Jeffrey Runner run.
bees
Carnivorous dandelions are coming to campus
To cut down on the campus’ unmanageable yellowjacket infestation, a UR professor has released her research on breeding carnivorous dandelions.
douggie
Long-line epidemic sweeping through campus; Line vigilantes rumored
That’s right — the line epidemic is sweeping across the UR campus with no signs of slowing down.
Satire
UR not connected
WiFi has been disabled all day. Whatever. Not my problem. Maybe I’ll fix it tomorrow. Maybe not. Probably not.
first-years
Breaking news: First-years still have a will to live
They are so full of hope it makes any upperclassman sick with the realization that they, too, were once full of bliss and a will to live.
journal
Journal of a lonely student exposed, published in Museum of Natural History
The deepest caverns of my psyche are stuffed with gauzy, stringy globs of caterpillar silk and rendered inaccessible. Welcome to my twisted mind.
COVID-19
COVID-19 variants to form new fraternity
COVID Delta Lambda hopes to change the college experience for anyone attempting to get an education in the next decade (or eternity).
UR Joking
A list of COVID-19-friendly pop-up requests
Although a healthy amount of UR students can subsist off of the sole resource known as “daddy’s money,” not everyone is that lucky.