Humor

D1 A Cappella

The YellowJackets ended their regular season with a 1–1 record after earning first place in the Central Quarterfinals.

Free tuition? C’mon, UR is being too generous.

We all know that the more expensive something is, the more undoubtedly prestigious it is, duh.

Lean output agreement reached between URMC & LPSA

Lean prices have dropped off steeply over the past month as the LPSA and URMC continued high outputs amid price disagreements while demand rapidly dropped off as consumers fled to ketamine in droves.

UR fraternity hosts party exclusively for students with COVID-19

The event, titled “Staying Positive During the Pandemic,” took place last Friday, March 25 and reached about 70 students at its peak. 

The flags are back!

Now, underclassmen can witness the flag lounge in all its glory.

Grounds crew exposed for hosting a groundhog fight ring

What better way to settle these territorial disputes than through an organized fighting ring?

Shuttle Bus Transformer

The University of Rochester has been aware that the one of the shuttles our community takes is actually a weapon of mass destruction.

CT’s SA Election Suggestions

Here are some suggestions the Campus Times has compiled to make elections Ever Better.

Elevating your elevator conversations

We’ve all been there, pressing that oh-so-shiny, round, absolutely irresistible button that will summon a hulking mass of metal to which you shall entrust your life to bring you up several hundred feet. The worst part of this death-trap-in-waiting? The most dreadful part of standing inside an iron cage hurtling skyward? Other people. 

Frat boy Cupid and St. Valentine appear for Valentine’s Day

Skeptics, poets, unearthly deities battling for dominance, what would you have it: Love makes fools of us all.