Archives - John Pinto
MERT reports ‘690 percent’ increase in penis injuries on Feb. 14
According to a joint statement from MERT and Public Safety, this spike in reported incidents left the MERT team “stretched thin and girthless.”
The wolf t-shirt you got from the cousin who likes magic tricks and theme parks
Cousin Rick likes magic tricks and Six Flags. He owns three Fushigis. He lives más. And now he's gone and bought you a shirt.
Engineering expo promises “New opportunities for misery and death in the Middle East”
“We hope students will take this opportunity to get in on the ground floor of unmitigated slaughter,” a UR Career Center representative told the CT.
Student plans on wearing same blue-and-white striped shirt (wrinkled, no tie) to three Formals
Sophomore and Kendrick Hall resident Nathan LaGuardia-Karsh said he came to this decision after absolutely no soul-searching or consideration.
UR suggests ‘box, stick, and string approach’ as declining daddy alternative
The traps, part of a UR initiative entitled “I Don’t See Why You Should Be Entitled to Food,” will be available for pick-up at dining halls this Tuesday.
Inspiring: My roommate has kept a sailboat parked in our driveway for over a year
I was able to secure an exclusive interview with this nautical visionary to figure out just how he pulled off such a feat in on-land docking.
Please don’t take a ‘creative’ class if you won’t try
Just showing up to relax and writing “when you feel like it” — a perfectly valid pursuit — is what Nanowrimo and A03 are for.