For some reason, I’ve been craving brains pretty much every day this year — and I mean the real deal, not that shady canned stuff. So, when I heard about Brian’s Brains Bar, the potential of a gourmet cerebral experience was too exciting to forgo. 

Brian’s Brains Bar also offers a variety of yummy dishes in addition to brains, so we had to order an array of treats fit for a cannibal or a medieval king (whilst still fulfilling my insatiable craving for brains, of course). We started off with an appetizer of the entrails-filled dumplings, which I’d say were one of the better dishes of the night. The filling was so moist that tearing into the dish felt near-vampiric, but I wasn’t necessarily not into that. My only note was that the dumpling wrappers were just slightly overdone. Unlike pliant flesh, the wrappers had no bite and nearly fell apart as I lifted them with my chopsticks, so it kinda took me out of it. 

Next, we tried out the vegan brain stew, which was another warm and flavorful consent-based delight. It smelled absolutely wonderful, and the texture was the perfect level of vomit-inducing for my taste. 

The biggest hit of the night were the brains, of course. The broth was full of every possible humour, all of which were perfectly balanced (no bloodletting needed here) and had a certain kick and acidity to it that made it easy to savor. It was absolutely euphoric. Although the brains were a bit too fatty for my liking, they were extremely moist and tender. I do wish there was a larger portion, because I, as a result of my craving, wolfed it down disgustingly fast. 

Another lovely thing about this order was that it was delivered super quickly. I think it arrived about 20 minutes earlier than projected, which I will never complain about. Given their “murder-to-table” slogan, I was wondering if what I had ordered would be as fresh as advertised, but I was pleasantly surprised. The food was also moderately priced, which was an extra plus. However, my lustful craving for brains has still not subsided, so I may very well be hitting up Brian’s Brain Bar until there are no victims left.

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