This year, the Jewish holiday Passover is from March 27 to April 3. I myself am Jewish, so at the start of this month, I decided to embrace the holiday and reread the story of Passover to put myself in the shoes of my ancestors. However, since then, some strange things have been happening to me.

  1. I tried to turn on the faucet in Tiernan and instead of water, a strange red liquid poured out. It wasn’t that beautiful orange-brown that signifies rust; it looked more like cherry Kool-Aid. Oh yeah, it was bad. I was very startled and reported it to my RA.

The next morning, I asked Dr. Chatbot whether I could go. Its response was “no, no, no.”

  1. I was disappointed, but not surprised. The next morning, I woke up and noticed that a bunch of frog photos were being posted on the UofR Animals Instagram page. All the notifications started to make my head spin, but my surveillance test had come back negative that morning, so it couldn’t have been COVID-related. 

The next morning, I asked Dr. Chatbot whether I could go. Its response was “no, no, no.”

  1. The next day, I was in a rush and decided to grab some food from the Pit and eat it in my room. I didn’t finish it before leaving for class, and when I came back, gnats were all over my room. Instead of there being gnats in my sandwich, there was some sandwich in my gnats.

The next morning, I asked Dr. Chatbot whether I could go. Its response was “no, no, no.”

  1. Then, there were those couple of days around the 10th when it was warm. I ate outside with my friends, but whenever I tried to take a bite of food, I got a bite of fly. They were everywhere!

The next morning, I asked Dr. Chatbot whether I could go. Its response was “no, no, no.”

  1. I was playing Minecraft with some friends, and some random person named “xXthelegend27Xx” joined and killed all of my cows and sheep. I will be plotting my revenge until the cows come home… wait.

The next morning, I asked Dr. Chatbot whether I could go. Its response was “no, no, no.”

  1. I caught a glance of myself in my mirror without a mask and realized that since I hadn’t changed masks in a while, I had boils all over my lower face. They don’t hurt, but maskne is never a good look.

The next morning, I asked Dr. Chatbot whether I could go. Its response was “no, no, no.”

  1. As we all remember, the Monday after the heat wave there was snow, because why not, right? When I was walking to dinner, a snowflake the size of a ping pong ball hit me right on the top of my head. I didn’t even know they got that big, like what the hail.

The next morning, I asked Dr. Chatbot whether I could go. Its response was “no, no, no.”

  1. Recently, with the nicer weather, I can’t even walk through the grass for a second without crushing a bug or two. While I’m not normally crass, they get me hopping mad, and I occasionally let out a low cuss when I encounter one. I guess there are downsides to swarmer weather.

The next morning, I asked Dr. Chatbot whether I could go. Its response was “no, no, no.”

  1. To top it all off, yesterday, a couple of my outlets stopped working for a few hours. My lamp wouldn’t turn on and my room was entirely dark. How am I supposed to study with that? Rather, how am I supposed to study with that without draining my phone’s precious battery life by using the flashlight?

The next morning, I asked Dr. Chatbot whether I could go. Its response was “no, no, no.”

  1. Today, my younger brother won’t stop bugging me to play with him because he doesn’t have anyone else to ask. On another note, I have been getting a bit of congestion…


A humble review of Connection’s soups

These Connections soups were my life, my blood. And as a soup connoisseur, I looked forward to testing each recipe.

April Fools! No guests allowed.

It’s always surprising when Reslife is organized enough to announce something, let alone have a policy.

A brief introduction to the yangqin

It was fascinating to learn about the yangqin and a joy to watch Wenzhuo perform on it from the comfort of my home this past Sunday.