As a student on campus in these unprecedented times, it’s important to me to remain positive in all ways. All ways, of course, except test results.

Test results that might make me a danger to all those I care about or whatever, but more importantly mean that I have to go be isolated for two weeks, which would make me very sad. Remembering to wear my mask, wash my hands, and stay 6 feet away from others can all drastically reduce my chance of catching and spreading the virus is great, but kind of hard. While I’ve never regularly done any of these things, the habits are certainly good for other people to form.

So long as I maintain a life devoid of human connection, I seem to be safe.  But I’m on the swim team, and we got special permission to practice, so I hope everybody else is working hard to keep us safe. Herd immunity: if everybody else does the work, I’m golden!

As golden as the leaves on the trees! To be honest, I’m so grateful that it’s been as warm as it’s been for as long as it’s been; normally, by this time of year, I’m breaking out my expensive winter coats which were doubtless produced through borderline slave labor, but thanks to global warming I can appreciate temperatures above 50 degrees for the small price of disastrous environmental consequences. What a steal!

In addition to the wonderful weather, I’m taking countless steps to keep myself motivated for when the world returns to a state of normalcy! I’ve been on the lookout for internships each weekend, and I can’t wait for the chance to apply the business skills that my trust fund is paying for me to obtain.

Honestly, I don’t have much to show for having completed three quarters of my degree, but that’s not important because college is a status symbol, and if you go to college it means you’re intelligent and have value and contribute to society in a meaningful way because existing is a privilege not a right. That’s besides the point, though. Gosh, I’m always getting so off topic!

My biggest ambitions might be realized in the coming years, such as: Make Something and Be Proud of It. A lofty goal to be sure, but I think that as long as I stick to who I am, or the lone interest I attached myself to in high school out of fear, everything is going to work out.

Everyone, including myself, is excited for regular, interactive life. We’re all looking forward to waking up to an open world where we’re allowed to socialize freely, take our dogs to the park, cry on company time, plan vacations — all the little things COVID-19 took from us besides, oh, y’know, what was it… upwards of a million human lives or so?

Us students at UR are doing our best to adhere to the safety protocols, but in the shadows, under the premise of a study session, sometimes even the best of us long for the touch of another.

The bliss of skin against skin, that shameful thrill.

Having experienced a COVID-19 fistbump or two, it is with the utmost confidence that I say they are indeed everything they’re cracked, or rather, knucked, up to be.



Biden’s victory changes nothing if we don’t change ourselves

On the off chance someone besides the editors of this paper are actually reading this, please: Think hard about what parts of your own mind would prefer a president who looks like Biden to a president who looks like Harris.

Cheers and jeers: Thanksgiving edition

Cheers to 2020 being almost over.

From the Archives: the voices of the College for Women

Although first shunned by the male students, the first female students were determined to not let their voices go unheard. Through their newspapers, The Cloister Window and Tower Times, the female students documented their livelihood and struggles.