As a student on campus in these unprecedented times, it’s important to me to remain positive in all ways. All ways, of course, except test results.

Test results that might make me a danger to all those I care about or whatever, but more importantly mean that I have to go be isolated for two weeks, which would make me very sad. Remembering to wear my mask, wash my hands, and stay 6 feet away from others can all drastically reduce my chance of catching and spreading the virus is great, but kind of hard. While I’ve never regularly done any of these things, the habits are certainly good for other people to form.

So long as I maintain a life devoid of human connection, I seem to be safe.  But I’m on the swim team, and we got special permission to practice, so I hope everybody else is working hard to keep us safe. Herd immunity: if everybody else does the work, I’m golden!

As golden as the leaves on the trees! To be honest, I’m so grateful that it’s been as warm as it’s been for as long as it’s been; normally, by this time of year, I’m breaking out my expensive winter coats which were doubtless produced through borderline slave labor, but thanks to global warming I can appreciate temperatures above 50 degrees for the small price of disastrous environmental consequences. What a steal!

In addition to the wonderful weather, I’m taking countless steps to keep myself motivated for when the world returns to a state of normalcy! I’ve been on the lookout for internships each weekend, and I can’t wait for the chance to apply the business skills that my trust fund is paying for me to obtain.

Honestly, I don’t have much to show for having completed three quarters of my degree, but that’s not important because college is a status symbol, and if you go to college it means you’re intelligent and have value and contribute to society in a meaningful way because existing is a privilege not a right. That’s besides the point, though. Gosh, I’m always getting so off topic!

My biggest ambitions might be realized in the coming years, such as: Make Something and Be Proud of It. A lofty goal to be sure, but I think that as long as I stick to who I am, or the lone interest I attached myself to in high school out of fear, everything is going to work out.

Everyone, including myself, is excited for regular, interactive life. We’re all looking forward to waking up to an open world where we’re allowed to socialize freely, take our dogs to the park, cry on company time, plan vacations — all the little things COVID-19 took from us besides, oh, y’know, what was it… upwards of a million human lives or so?

Us students at UR are doing our best to adhere to the safety protocols, but in the shadows, under the premise of a study session, sometimes even the best of us long for the touch of another.

The bliss of skin against skin, that shameful thrill.

Having experienced a COVID-19 fistbump or two, it is with the utmost confidence that I say they are indeed everything they’re cracked, or rather, knucked, up to be.



Email from admin: Students must get positive COVID-19 test for the fall

In order to accommodate these students, we have decided to lock you all into Strong Auditorium and pump infected air through the vents.

Dandelion Day sucked, students say 

"D-Day is cursed, but at least I made a friend while freezing to death,” sophomore Jerome Daniels said. 

Student burnout was a big deal this past spring

After two and a half semesters of Zoom-education, UR students are ready for a change of pace. To be clear, UR students are no stranger to burnout, but it has been particularly different this past year due to the academic conditions, global pandemic, and a challenging social climate.