Pounding music, intoxicants, a flurry of T-shirts and shorts — two people’s eyes meet across the room. They may not have come to that party that night to meet someone, but they won’t turn it down, either.
After dancing and a few rounds of embarrassing karaoke, arms wrap around waists, lips find lips, and bodies intertwine. Something amazing, subpar, or downright awful is about to happen…
With the start of college, gone is the daunting “Mean Girls” notion: “Don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant and die.” Sex is no longer spoken of in hushed or reverent tones, and the rarity of sexual prowess has dissipated.
Just as alcohol, drugs, and expletives were secrets of high school lives, so was sex, but now it is more broadcasted than ever. Everybody is out to “get some,” and they don’t care who knows it.
Parties are the perfect time to find that not-so-special someone and do the deed. Here at the
University, there is no shortage of this opportunity — a party doesn’t even have to be involved. Sex can happen anywhere at any time, as long as you’re not doing it in the kitchen, lounge, laundry room, or any other public space (as RAs, D’Lions, and First Year Fellows have so nicely pointed out), you’re clear for takeoff.
First-years definitely seem to be the most sex-starved. Even saying that may be too much of an understatement. The novices, masters, and everyone in between are all putting themselves out there … or at least trying to.
The answer to this deep and desperate hunger cannot alone be found in high schools, families, and friends — it is the direct result of the “college experience” (whatever that is). The college experience is interpreted differently by many, but some common themes include drinking (a little or to excess), partying (dancing awkwardly or grinding up a storm), doing stupid stuff (no explanation needed), and sex (hopefully protected). It’s is a bucket list item that most people find the need to check off. But why is frivolous sex part of this potentially hazardous equation; why not just sex, period?
After emerging from a fairly sheltered high school experience, a lot of college students desire that adrenaline rush they can’t get from rollercoasters. If your school was plagued with juul-rooms instead of bathrooms, or sexual encounters under desks instead of passing secret admirer notes, then you’re lucky.
But people who feel like they missed out because their peers were doing more than them may want to make up for it now. College comes with more independence and more freedom — and many are looking forward to undergoing new, thrilling experiences.
Risky sex, the type that potentially endangers one’s emotions (not the type that involves the absence of a condom), is a choice made for several reasons. These reasons could indeed be more infinite than the following list, but this is as close as it gets: to simply have fun, enjoy losing your virginity or the need to get it over with already, gain experience for future flings or serious partners, or just to tell your friends about the best, worst, or most random night of your life.
Having sex obviously is different for every person, and only you know what you can handle. If you’ve never had sex and you’re considering this a risky part of the college experience, think on it.
There’s nothing wrong with a one-night stand. Sex is meant to be fun and pleasurable; no one said that it has to be done within a relationship to accomplish those things. If two people enter the bedroom, fully knowing that their intimacy may dissolve when the sun comes up the next morning, then why not go for it?
Exploring sexuality and sensuality is a part of striking out on your own and finding yourself. But sometimes, as romantic comedies and reality show us, catching feelings can occur whether a person entered the bedroom all-knowing or not.
Hook up culture doesn’t have to be the only type of sex people refer to when they think of the college experience. The college experience shouldn’t simply endorse frivolous sex itself. It should come with warning labels and “nutritional” benefits.
One-night stands automatically being a part of the college experience can sometimes leave the impression that it’s unrealistic to wait to have sex within a long-standing relationship. This should not be a conclusion people quickly jump to and should not count as an excuse to hook up with that cutie you saw in the dining hall yesterday if you’re really not sure.
But if you’re up for it, try it, fulfill that hunger — just know what it entails. If you’re feeling pressured by the environment around you, though aren’t ready yet, it’s okay to wait. You can have sex in your own time, whether it’s with the love of your life or just an alluring person from last Friday night. That college experience isn’t going anywhere, and you can make it whatever you want it to be.