Former University President Joel Seligman has been officially linked to the infamous Nine Trey Bloods gang. In a recent court appearance, Daniel Hernandez, better known as rapper 6ix9ine, better known as Tekashi69, better known as “Wait, is that the pedophile guy?” better known as “Snitch,” made national headlines after settling for a plea deal.

Hernandez had already named Trippie Redd, Jim Jones, and Cardi B — who is unique among the accused not only for being female but also for having talent — as being fellow members of the Nine Trey Bloods. Seligman joined this growing cast of alleged members yesterday.

“Selly was hard, man,” the rapper, whose desperately needed witness protection will be difficult to obtain given that he looks like a stepped-on fruit rollup and is only capable of communicating through screaming. How do you think he got that school the crazy endowment? Blood money,” Hernandez told shocked prosecutors. “They call him the mastermind. He was an expert in cybersecurity law… confused me, but he got around every charge. Heard he had some boys in the BCS department or something he got off clean, too.”

This is a developing story and will be updated as new details emerge.



Manglesdorf inaugurated in historic ceremony

“This was a beautiful traditional ceremony,” alumni Bill Robinson ‘72 said. “The intrinsic joy to something like this is that there is always the prospect under another leader of continuing to move forward⁠. ”

Author and smooth talker Ann Patchett visits Strong

Sarah Mangelsdorf welcomed Ann Patchett to Strong Auditorium on Saturday afternoon by listing a few of her accolades — an…

UR Snapshots Vol. 3: Meliora Weekend

I was biking on campus on Friday and nearly got run over by a golf cart.