First-year Christoph Rugierro expressed disappointment last Wednesday that no professor came forward as his nemesis. Rugierro, a Computer Science major from Canandaigua, said he was on the lookout for scowls of contempt from faculty members at Convocation, but saw only smiles.

“I had my eyes peeled for anyone sending me dirty looks, or even an eye-roll, but there was nothing,” Ruggiero said. “I don’t care if they’re motivated by a schoolyard grudge against my parents or by nothing at all.

I don’t even care what department they’re in. I just know from ‘Harry Potter’ that I need a professor to oppose my academic success at every turn and inspire me to be ever better.”

Despite not caring about a potential nemesis’ motivation, Rugierro did admit it would be very convenient if an enemy would come forward because of something his parents had done. Rugierro’s status as a legacy was very important in his decision to attend UR, as he’d hoped that having two alumni parents would increase the odds of there being a scorned former classmate-turned-professor.

“My Dad was the first of many DKE members to successfully use the, ‘Well, I didn’t hear her say no’ defense,” Rugierro told Campus Times, “and my Mom did slacklining. Hell, both of them were on the Alumni board that advised getting rid of ITS. How they left behind no one who would swear vengeance on their son is frankly baffling to me.”

Rugierro’s parents are supporting their son through this difficult period in his life.

“College is all about finding yourself and growing as a person,” said Mary Jo Daly-Rugierro ’86. “I’m confident that my little ‘Toph will find just the right faculty member to butt heads with, maybe over something like economic policy or the morality of hosting hot tub parties for  graduate students. He will find that special someone, and he will grow from knowing them.”

At this point, Randall Rugierro ’83 entered the room while talking to this reporter and his Bluetooth at the same time. It became difficult to discern which comment was meant for who, besides the oft-repeated point, “My son, quite the ladykiller! Ho-ho!”

When asked for comment on Rugierro’s quest for academic adversity, President Feldman steepled his fingers, leaned back in his chair, and said “Rugierro? Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a long, long time.” This was followed by several minutes of silence, after which the President said “Was I supposed to say something more? I just haven’t heard of that family in a while, is all.”



Life is pay to win. College? The giant paywall

For a game that preaches freedom of choice, there are an awful lot of decisions essentially made for us. Exhibit A: the decision to play at all.

What how you spend your weekends really says about you

When the weekend comes around, I overthink and start to get a rush of anxiety. Why? Because I might be judged for not going out.

Understanding our complicity in white supremacy with Dr. Belew

Dr. Belew reminds us all that understanding our involvement in the perpetuation of white supremacy is the first step in creating social change.