1. What kind of bag are you bringing?
A. Plastic Jack-O-Lantern
B. Your left Croc
C. Egyptian Cotton Pillow Case
D. No bag — I eat it as I go

2. What do you bring in case of emergency?
A. Swiss army knife
B. A chicken cutlet
C. Daddy’s Mastercard
D. A change of underwear

3. What treat do you go for first?
A. Classic M&M’s
B. Brownies
A. An apple
B. Her dentures

4. What random item does the old lady down the road give you instead of candy?
A. An apple
B. Her dentures
C. Miscellaneous change
D. Random pills she thought were Skittles

5. What do you bring as hydration along the way?
A. Smart Water
B. V8
C. Champagne
D. Tequila

6. What’s the first item in your bag to get thrown in the trash?
A. Licorice
B. That razor blad you found in your Snickers
C. Fireballs
D. A hairy Jolly Rancher

7. Which house do you stop at first?
A. Raid the candy from your own house first
B. The murder-house
C. The wealthy neighbors giving out king-sized bars
D. A frat house

8. Who do you bring as your sidekick?
A. Your puppy
B. Your Uber driver
C. The Joel Seligman
D. Nobody — you don’t need friends, they disappoint you

9. What costume are you rocking?
A. Olaf from “Frozen”
B. Lumberjack (including real chainsaw)
C. Sexy Joel Seligman
D. Sexy cat

10. What song are you jamming out to while you fill up your bag?
A. “Monster Mash” by Bobby “Boris” Pickett
B. “Hey Ya!” by OutKast
C. “Bodak Yellow” by Cardi B
D. “Crazy in Love” by Beyoncé

11. What time does the night end?
A. Midnight
B. 5:00 a.m.
C. 3:00 a.m.
D.The night only ends when the sun comes up and it turns into morning!

 

If you answered mostly A:
Congratulations! You’re the only one who made it out in one piece. So what if your friends say that you’re too safe? You had a great time out dancing and made it back in time to get the doctor’s recommended eight hours of sleep!

If you answered mostly B:
Well, that could have gone better. You wake up in a shopping cart in the parking lot of a Bed, Bath, & Beyond with nothing in sight except for a half-eaten quesadilla and a ticket stub from a Snoop Dogg concert. Maybe your thrill seeking tendencies caught up to you this time. Oh well, you can always try again next year.

If you answered mostly C:
You ended the weekend with your bank account low and your dignity even lower. Looks like you treated the squad to a late night Doug feast before clearing out the freezer section of Hillside. But it’s okay, you can work it all off by laughing at your Snapchat memories and running from all of the responsibilities that you neglected throughout the weekend.

If you answered mostly D:
Oh, yikes. Your Halloween night ended with a hook-up with a stranger dressed as Rocky, and this morning you’re feeling the sting. Your friends will never let you live this one down, but on the bright side you made it back with your ID, keys and phone intact.

Tagged: Halloween


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