Elizabeth Beson / Senior Staff

1. A blind dog was rescued after being lost in the cold for over 2 weeks.

“I would’ve found home a lot sooner if I had had a seeing-eye man,” said the dog.

2. Yet another aggressive owl strike has been reported in a small Dutch town. 

How many strikes does is take to get to the center of an owl attack case?

3. A birthday party was held for a NYC couple that has been married for 82 years. 

When asked about her husband’s influence on the accomplishment, the wife responded by claiming, “I couldn’t have done it without him.”

4.  A New Mexico couple got engaged right before getting stranded on a mountaintop. 

Things can only go down from there.

5. A man sold a watch he found at a secondhand store for $35,000.

How did he do it? He told the buyer it was a cell phone with unlimited minutes.

6. A DEA agent is claiming that the legalization of medical marijuana in Utah will lead to stoned rabbits. 

In a remake of “The Tortoise and the Hare” tale, the hare will be so paranoid that the tortoise is out to get him he will actually win the race.

7. A fugitive was arrested after commenting on a sheriff’s Facebook page before subsequently being removed from Facebook.

“So how am I gonna know when they post my bail?” said the fugitive.

8. A Vermont town is considering allowing 16 and 17-year-olds to vote in local elections.

As a result, local office seekers will have to change their platforms to focus on issues such as “too much homework,” “subsidizing prom dances” and “lowering the requirements needed to get a high school diploma.”

Horgan is a member of
the class of 2017.

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