You’ve probably had a lot of fresh experience comparing seasons, given that this is Rochester and we’ve had all of them these past few weeks. We’re in an area that knows pretty much the entire repertoire of weather available on Earth, and one that loves to show its range. Hot as hell, cold as Viking hell, and everything in between. We even had a tornado warning in Canandagua this summer. Point being, if a particular type of weather is not a disaster- level event like a hurricane or earthquake, you can safely expect to experience it within the month. And this effect is especially noticeable during our spring and fall, as I can only assume God just gets really hungover from New Years and the Fourth of July, respectively, and just forgets realizes too late sometimes that, “Ooh shit, it’s not supposed to snow in May”, or holy “Holy hell, is it not supposed to be 80 degrees in November?.”
So, given the prominence of the seasons in our lives this time of year, I figured it’d be as good a time as ever to bicker over which one’s best. And it’s fall, suckers. (This shouldn’t surprise you. It’s in the gorram title.) Anyway, this argument is based on the general advantage of moderate things to extreme things. This can be seen everywhere in our daily lives. What’s that, your kid is screaming down the aisles of Toys R Us demanding the new X-Cube? Do you whip out the credit card and prepare to give tribute to His Grace? Do you punt him over the registers and prepare to block the return? No, you do the moderate, sensible thing. You just freaking leave. Cause extremes suck.
In this particular case, the extremes that are doing the suctioning are blistering heat and extremity-freezing cold. Instead, let’s take that the middle road. Instead of being stuck inside, huddled around your air conditioner/pile of burning furniture, you can actually comfortably exist outdoors. Plus, you get to wear the best clothes. Jeans? Check. Hoodies? Check. Ridiculous but comfy sweaters? Aww yeah, check. Fall fashion is the best fashion.
Now, you might be asking, “Hey Jon, spring’s also a moderate season. Why isn’t it the best instead of fall?”. Now, on the one hand, I understand, and honestly, it essentially just boils down to whether you like your moderation cool or warm, so I respect that logic. On the other hand, fuck that, fall’s way better. Firstly, cool is totally better than warm, so much so that one’s actually a synonym for awesome, while the other is only used for games of Marco Polo. Also, you can just add a few layers of clothes to stay at optimal comfy levels, while you can’t lose body layers. If that’s how you approach cooling off, props.
Secondly, the scenery is wholesale just better. The changing leaves are just gorgeous, especially in Upstate New York (i.e. real New York). Sure, the budding and flowering of spring is nice too, but it’s not all that different from the usual. With fall, the entire color composition of nature just completely shifts, and it’s amazing.
So, in conclusion: fall good, spring okay, summer and winter nay. Now, if you disagree with my entirely rational and academic approach to this pressing issue, write up a counter- article, and we can metaphorically grapple for seasonal supremacy. I look forward to fighting for an issue of such great significance.
Aho is a member of
the class of 2017.
