When I first entered the River Campus of UR, I was overwhelmed by everything around me: be it the size of the campus, the diversity of the student population, the number of courses offered, and the clubs that were in operation. Everything looked larger than life. I felt stunned, perplexed, and confused by the number of choices that I was offered. Life back home had always been restrictive and limited. But exactly what I had to do to make the most of everything I was offered on campus seemed like a mystery. As I walked past the perfectly paved grass lawns in the Academic Quad towards the dome of the Rush Rhees Library, trying to take in a little more of the University with each breath, I knew life was going to be different here, unlike the one I had led back home.
Coming to a place where you suddenly become the foreigner can be challenging, but when you ask the question about whether these people are really as different as you think they are, the answer you get is highly unpredictable. In college, the International Students are considered a minority, but are they really? In fact, when we look closely, we find out that college is as alien to someone from outside U.S. as someone from within it. It is an entirely different world from the one that each one of us came from. There is so much diversity in this world that it is convenient to think of everyone as international. I realized that, within the U.S., there are so many smaller groups that have their own characteristics. Language is just one of the many categories that divide the nation. Each ethnic group here is characterized and divided in so many ways that it’s best just to know each other as members of the Rochester Community. Isn’t that the true essence of college? In college, our nationalities, mother tongues, and sexual preferences all fade, and what remains is our identity as students. It is this identity that is polished in the next four years and highlighted. Irrespective of who you are or where you come from, you all become the same once you step on campus. You are only as International as you want yourself to be.
In the midst of such newness and diversity, college also brings with it a shrewd sense of competition. Everyone wants to compete and grab opportunities before others. Of course, such competition is by all means heathy, as it brings out the best in you. But sometimes we forget about the more important achievements that we should focus on. In our attempts to get the perfect GPA, secure positions in the student government, attain various club positions or other such college temptations, we often forget the importance of forming good interpersonal relations. In these four years of our quest to assemble the most impressive resume, we tend to ignore the need to make the friends.
But there is no method on how to do this. Among the various faces that hover around campus, how do you know who you are going to gel with? Is it ok to not make a move and stick with your school friends? Or should we just go out there and try, no matter how many attempts it might take? Friendship never sounded like a risk until you came to college. In this whole process of finding that perfect friend who you relate to the most, you might have to come across so many you don’t like. So is it really worth it ?
For me, my biggest concern was not being able to make any friends in college. I felt like I wouldn’t be accepted or, even if I was, I wouldn’t be able to adjust to the ways of the people here. But I was highly mistaken. Today after a month of college, I have had the pleasure not only of meeting amazing people but of making a few solid friends. And from this group of friends, one person has become the closest thing to me on campus. Someone who understands me perfectly well helps me settle in and not miss home, deal with all the problems that I am facing, and most importantly, always has my back. I consider her friendship to be by far my biggest achievement in college. I cannot imagine a day of college without her probably because of the symbiotic nature of our relationship. She doesn’t come from the country I come from or speak the language I do. But still we share an uncanny resemblance in our thought process. Our opinions on major issues seem to be similar. It’s amazing how two people from such different backgrounds can think so similarly.
At the end of the day, does it really matter where you come from or which language you speak? I cannot put my friendship with her in my resume, but does that make it any less of an achievement? It is true that college showers upon us numerous opportunities for which we should be grateful. But then again, the opportunities that we wish to grab and make the most of are totally at our disposal. Apart from giving you quality education, the UR also gives you a chance to make lifelong friends. Sometimes we tend to neglect this opportunity since we fail to judge its importance. But in between classes, while jumping from one building to another in the Academic Quad (or any other place for that matter), stop for a second and see the people around you. Maybe you might get just as lucky as I was and meet this perfect friend who is ok with giving you his/her jacket and be cold just so that you can be warm. Trust me: though this might not sound as important as getting a job after finishing college, it will help you survive the harsh weather, which is far more important.
Poddar is a member of
the class of 2018.
