My boyfriend has taken to calling me muffin and cupcake, but I hate it. How do I tell him?

I intend to, like bread, rise to the occasion and give you some great advice, as I have seen a very similar situation play out recently. After all, it’s the yeast I can do. 

Personally, I know that I particularly enjoy muffins. Preferably blueberry. But I completely understand that you would like to be called something that isn’t necessarily a desirable food. 

In fact, getting him to stop calling you cupcake can actually be a piece of cake. If you don’t want to directly tell him out of fear of insulting him, you could test out some of these less direct options. 

To start, you could simply stop responding to “muffin”. Every time he attempts to call you muffin, just don’t respond until he uses your actual name. 

If this doesn’t work, try reciting the traditional nursery rhyme “The Muffin Man” with your boyfriend. Every time you recite it to him, blatantly emphasize the “man” in the rhyme. 

Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man?” He is not a woman: let him know that the Muffin Man is a man, not a woman. And that you are a woman, not a man, nor a muffin. 

However, being called “muffin” is the lesser of two evils. As the old joke goes, cupcakes cover themselves up with icing, which tells you a lot about their self-esteem. A muffin isn’t afraid, because it has nothing to hide or be embarrassed about. It shouldn’t be too difficult for you to stop your boyfriend from calling you “muffin” or “cupcake.” 

The entire problem is much a-dough about nothing. Honestly, I think your best bet would be to just tell him that you don’t like being called “muffin” or “cupcake”. Who knows, maybe he doesn’t like calling you these names and the only reason he keeps doing it is because you haven’t told him that you don’t enjoy it. Chances are that he will respect your request to call you by your name instead of by “muffin” or “cupcake”. Best of luck!

Horgan is a member of the class of 2017.


Aaron Schaffer, Photo Editor

 



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