Editor’s Note: Professor Estrada was not feeling well this week, so one of our staff decided to step in and share his own words of wisdom.

 

Dear Chris, 

How do I insistently ask a girl out on a date? 

– Nervous Michael

First, ask the girl if she is interested in getting dinner with you. If she replies “no,” simply reply by saying “Oh, do you prefer breakfast?” If that doesn’t work, ask her to marry you.

Now, some may say this is a little ambitious. Actually, I think anyone with common sense would say it is too ambitious, so I take that back. Make sure the third thing you say to your potential partner is not a marriage proposal.

It is important to never be negative about your abilities to ask someone out on a date. At the very least, be positive that you do not have a chance of going out on a date with this person. When you initiate the conversation, crack some jokes. Also, crack some eggs – the girl is a breakfast person, remember?

Most importantly, be confident in yourself. She might not fall in love with you immediately, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Remember how “Romeo and Juliet” ended?

It is also important to start some small talk. For example, try asking her which college she attends. If her response is UR, then this is a major plus. If her response is RIT, just quickly make sure that you are in fact speaking to a girl.

Next, ask her what she intends on majoring in. If it’s in the sciences, be smooth and tell her that the two of you should work on your chemistry. We go to a science school, so you want a girl like Google: one that has everything you are searching for.

Try to find out in advance if the girl already has a boyfriend. If she does, then this severely reduces your chances of her accepting your date request.

Lastly, Michael, if she isn’t interested, take this as a hint that she may not want to go on a date with you. Don’t get down on yourself – there are a ton of nice and intelligent girls here at UR, so ice won’t be the only thing you are falling for.

Here in the winter wonderland of Rochester, you might not think you are a snowman until the right gal makes your heart melt.

Horgan is a member of the class of 2017.



SA Senate election won by everyone who ran

The executive race was the only competitive one in this spring’s SA election. Everyone who ran for senate positions —…

UR softball defeats St. Lawrence, Skidmore, and splits with RPI

Gorecki opened the scoring in the first inning by doubling down the left field line, scoring Laygo from third.

Dam Funny: A Review of “Hundreds of Beavers” – North America’s Largest Rodent Takes Center Stage

Our protagonist awakes in shoulder-deep snow. He is alone, without any worldly possessions. His applejack business is as good as gone.