I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday; welcome back to yet another edition of Life, Love… Sport (Triple Overtime Edition). Normally, I would have something witty to say here about the various sports but today, I’m taking the high road. All I want to say before we dive into a full plethora of sporting news is that I love college football and its cracked-out overtime rules. It is my sincere hope and dream that perhaps the NFL will grace us with such tomfoolery sometime in the near future.
Let us begin with the outrageous world of college football. Honestly, this season has been the toughest one for me personally as a fan. It’s hard enough when there are two or three teams vying for attention, but when every Tom, Dick and Harry decides to go 10-2, it’s enough to make a grown man cry. Which – and I’m not ashamed to say this – I did when LSU lost for the second time. For the record, I’m not an LSU fan. Never have been. So when they lost in three overtimes, man was I pumped. But the fun didn’t stop there; when Tennessee beat Kentucky on Saturday, that game went to four overtimes.
For all of you that are uneducated on the glory that is the college overtimes, let me explain. Unlike the NFL, where there’s a coin-toss and whoever scores first wins, in college every team gets the ball placed on the opponents 25. It’s almost impossible not to score in those spectacles. What’s not to love?
Now that it’s almost December, we can start making predictions like “What referee will give out the most absurd penalty of the season?” (If you haven’t already, go check out the ref from the NC State-Maryland game) and “How many times will Steve Beuerlein refer to players as thugs?” and, most importantly, “Will Erin Andrews ever accidentally take her top off?” (Let’s hope and pray that ESPN sends her to cover the Aloha Bowl in Hawaii). Also, we could probably talk about the national title game, but, at this point, not even God knows who will play in that game.
One final update on the Bandwagon team of the LLS; the Fightin’ Bulls of USF have finished the season at 9-3 and have accepted a bid to play in the Sun Bowl against a yet unnamed opponent.
As you may recall, last year’s Bandwagon team, the Missouri Tigers, also played in the Sun Bowl. Now the Tigers are squarely in line to play for the national title and their quarterback, Chase Daniel is squarely in the Heisman hunt. And best of all, I predicted all this last year. So chin up USF! You have a date with destiny next year (bring booze).
Now shifting gears into a little bit of college basketball, I’m going to tell you a story. Once upon a time, the LLS cared about college basketball in the winter time. And then it was found out that basketball, unlike football, doesn’t require perfection-teams can lose a third of their games and still win the national title. So the LLS stopped caring about college hoops before Valentine’s Day. However, since the season has started, let me share with you a few pearls of wisdom. Good teams are always destined to be good, partly due to the fact that greatness begets greatness and also because teams with money will undoubtedly almost always beat teams without money. Without money, you can’t be great. It is the lure of having a small school like George Mason going to the Final Four that keeps people transfixed on college basketball, but in the long run, the small schools will always bow down to the likes of UCLA and UNC.
Since baseball ended in October, there hasn’t been much to write about. However, one must congratulate A-Rod on screwing the Yankees hardcore. Nothing says “thanks for the memories” like opting out, costing your team a solid $14 million a year and then resigning for $27 million.
Meanwhile, the Yankees are somehow optimistic that they can trade for Johan Santana. Call me crazy, but Melky Cabrera doesn’t get me excited to come to the ballpark. Neither does Ian Kennedy. While it would surely be a blow to the Red Sox if Santana signed with the Evil Empire, it’s not a sure thing that he will continue his dominance in the bright lights of New York. Who knows, he might be caught escorting hookers back to his hotel room or kicking puppies off the Brooklyn Bridge.
Final Fact:
Prairie View College had an 80-game losing streak in football during the 1990s. During the 1991 season, the Panthers were outscored by an average margin of 56-4.
Maystrovsky’s article appears weekly. Maystrovsky is a member of the class of 2009.
