“Yet we’re all held to the same standards, and called to serve the same good purposes?to spend the people’s money wisely; to solve problems?to guard America against all evil.” Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz (a.k.a. Jon Stewart, reporter extraordinaire), President Bush is calling out to you. After dialing Captain America, there was no one left to turn to but the one other man who has the power to save the nation.
OK, so maybe Bush wasn’t talking directly to Stewart in his latest State of the Union Address, but I sure as hell can’t think of anyone so suited for a job. In fact, Stewart has even written a book, America (The Book), an attempt to capture certain truths about this glorious nation. His show, “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,” is the most entertaining form of news, meeting the expectations of a prime time Comedy Central show while engaging a huge range of audiences.
Now what could Bush have in mind for Stewart when he is already helping to save this country by illuminating the ineptitude of politicians and reporting the news more accurately than major media stations like CNN and FOX News? I think I know exactly what Bush is thinking.
Bush is suggesting that Stewart should run for president. Don’t get me wrong here – Bush could never have said this so explicitly for fear of losing the surplus in political support he has worked so tirelessly to build up. But what else could he mean when he called for someone who knows how to spend money wisely?
This may just be because I’m Jewish and I’m using this article to help advance our tribe’s goal of world domination, but for the first time in all of Bush’s presidency, I am proud to say that I agree with him. Granted, Stewart won’t be as funny as a president who has trouble eating pretzels, but imagine how entertaining a comedian would be as president.
Stewart exemplifies many of the traits needed in a good president (besides making the constituents laugh). First of all, we know where he stands, something we can say for few of the many Democratic presidential candidates. He’s been in politics longer than Senator Barack Obama, a contestant in the upcoming Democrat duke-out with Senator Hillary Clinton. And what does he have over Clinton? Well for one, he never ran a campaign against violent video games, an endeavor of Senator Clinton’s that has affected my personal life dearly.
It’s barely even worth comparing him to some of the leading Republican candidates. Senator John McCain is a born politician who, while doing a great job in appealing to the median voter, continues to frustrate as he follows the wills of the masses. His main contestant, however, Rudy Giuliani, was born in Brooklyn and therefore does have some good in him.
But what is it about Stewart that makes him so appealing, either as a presidential candidate (in my mind) or in his current role as an anchorman? It’s his passion for the people. Stewart, in all his cynicism and sometimes-outrageous comedy, cares about the people of America. And it shows, as people are more likely to listen to his word than to the President’s.
The outcome of the presidential election in 2008 is going to reflect upon one factor: which politician cares the most about the people. Whereas Bush’s lack of caring for the people has led to the downfall of the nearly impenetrable Republican majority in Congress, Senator Obama’s representation as a man of the people has led him to be a near demagogue of modern politics. And while political figureheads like Tom Delay ignored cries for reform, those like Giuliani have risen to political fame by embodying compassion.
If any of the politicians running in the 2008 presidential race truly want to win not only the votes of the American people, but also their hearts, all he or she needs to do is care.
Epstein is a member of the class of 2010.