When did guys start expecting girls to sleep over and then not offer to walk them home? Do they understand the sheer embarrassment of the early morning parade through campus for the girl? Sure, the trek also proves uncomfortable for guys, but an analysis of the specifics suggests that the walk of shame is 96.54 times worse for the girl.

Of course there are circumstances in which the girl is forced to spend the night, but these conditions are limited to: the guy has the single or free room, the couple becomes intimate at his residence early on in the night, the girl has a fetish for other people’s beds, or they are in a serious relationship. However, it is in these situations that the guy needs to abide by the rules of chivalry and offer to escort her home.

With the exception of the aforementioned accounts, the guy should be more than willing to go back to the girl’s room.

For the girl, the walk back after a passionate rendezvous is like the dead man’s march to the electric chair. Her hair screams “I love the 80s,” her makeup-streaked face resembles that of a model in a Halloween catalogue and her heels and sweat pants make her look like an unfashionable hooker.

So, when one night I had to fight with a guy over whose room to move our against-the-wall make-out session to, I was left shocked and angry. How could he possibly have assumed that it would be okay for me to make the unsafe pilgrimage from his off-campus house when he could just walk back from my on-campus room the next morning?

Additionally, guys never have to face the trauma of leaving a frat house. There is nothing more frightening than trying to run incognito through the doors of a gossipy, guy-ridden frat house. The terror of possibly making eye contact with a frat boy after departing from a brother’s room is enough to make any girl terminally ill.

Guys have gotten so stubborn that their refusal to walk to the girl’s room often results in a hook-up free night. I have ended up not spending the night with a guy at all because neither of us would succumb to the other’s pleas.

If the girl does finally give in, the guy feels fine letting her walk back alone. Doesn’t he realize that the campus is dotted with blue lights for a reason?

Guys are lucky enough as it is to not have to wear makeup, do their hair or face the constant threat of rape. Why can’t they give girls a break, feel proud they hooked up and gallantly make the walk of shame?

Permutt is a member of the class of 2008.



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