Alleged Liberal SympathizerYou see it in the movies, like in “Independence Day,” where Jeff Goldblum’s character David Levinson suddenly saw the way to defeat the invading aliens. That one moment of epiphany with a transcendence that changes a life forever. After ruminating for quite a while, it came to me that I am a Deaniac. When I realized it, I sat in astonishment. I turned off NPR, threw down the New York Times, spit out my latte and swept the sushi from the table. In all honesty, I’ve done plenty of volunteer work at the NPR member station WBFO-Buffalo, I have a subscription to the New York Times and, yes, I will shovel down the occasional latte and sushi.Usually, it is all too easy for Republicans to take out opponents. We stare them down, and their body – much like a chameleon – changes appearance in a cowardly and Machiavellian fashion. Some call it nuance, but more often than not it is a poor attempt to garner votes on Election Day. Such disingenuousness was duly taken care of in the 2004 elections.However, when we look into Dean’s eyes, they do not change – his steely composure remains, his smile indicating he is ready for a challenge. Here is a man with whom battles can be fought and who will not easily change himself to win votes. Hailing from Vermont and an M.D. in his possession, he is decidedly not some District-area party stooge looking to mooch off the political system for a living. That fact makes him both an honorable and dangerous opponent. His conduct in the Democratic primaries of this past election best illustrates my point. Democrats, some of who were decidedly vocal in their opposition to other conflicts in the past, threw their support behind President George W. Bush en masse when he decided to go to war in Iraq. Many of these Democrats became Dean’s opponents in the Democratic primaries and tore him apart for his criticism of the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Nonetheless he would not yield. Arguably, this stance may have cost him the primaries. While his major primary opponents provided no real opposition to the Republicans, Dr. Dean provided it with great enthusiasm. Therefore, this resolute nature more than qualifies Dean to lead the Democratic Party. I understand that this editorial page has seen the Good, the Bad and the Ugly when it comes to satire – Democrats, I will not hold it against you if you take my words as mere April Fool’s tomfoolery. However, on the charge of providing aid and comfort to the enemy – the elitist liberal – I confess my guilt and throw myself at the mercy of the court.After I do my time at the Center for Advanced Conservative Studies to be indoctrinated back to the Right, after I am “re-educated” that I give no credit or respect to the left – only to Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity – I secretly look forward to four years with Dr. Dean.Defendant can be reached at commieliberal@moveon.org.



The catchphrase “I’m not racist”

Nowadays, it seems like anything you do can be, in some way, shape, or form, “racist.”

College Diversity Roundtable discusses conduct policy changes, Bias-Related Incident Report, world events messaging

The College Diversity Roundtable discussed code of conduct changes, the upcoming Bias-Related Incident Report, and administrative messaging about world events at their first meeting of the year.

Adulting 101: The illusions of age and maturity

Why do we continue to linearize the path to maturity with respect to time and age? It’s high time that we redefine the social concept of maturity.