A UR sweatshop will open on campus this spring, President Thomas Jackson announced Tuesday.

?UR has embraced the ideals of the modern industrial age,? Jackson said. ?We have converted the lower level of Bausch and Lomb into a third-world sweatshop.?

?We have always had a commitment to provide low-cost, morally questionable items of clothing to the university community,? he said.

The sweatshop originated in the latest meeting of the University Apparel Manufacturing Committee, during which it was determined that importing sweatshop goods would no longer be cost-efficient.

?Instead of flying the clothes all the way here from third-world countries, we can make them right here in our own backyard,? said Director of Purchasing Quentin Roach.

The committee decided to take action so that UR?s apparel prices would stay competitive with those at The Gap, which recently announced that it would be opening new factories in several undisclosed countries.

?Cheap labor in poor conditions is something that has been missing from the UR community,? Jackson said. ?The administration is committed to diversity on campus, and too many people at this campus are above the poverty line.?

The No-Sweat coalition was surprisingly supportive of this release of information.

?While No-Sweat is disappointed that the administration has not taken a stand against sweatshops, we are pleased that they have agreed to full disclosure of the location of UR?s new factory,? said junior and No-Sweat member Kirk Scirto.

With the new addition, life at UR will continue as normal.

?I couldn?t really give a hoot,? incoming Students? Association President Who Cares? Guy said. ?Bring on the UR sweatshirts.?

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