Remember the last time you played beer pong and thought you were king of the world after making your opponent drink that warm nasty beer?

Now there is a real reason to claim yourself the king of the world ? it?s called the beer mile.

The club sports department is happy to be forming a team to compete against other area colleges.

What the beer mile consists of is four beers, a track and lots of runners.

Before the start of the race all runners will chug one beer and run one lap ? 400 meters ? then proceed to do this three more times.

The club sports department had difficulty getting the track and field coaches to support the beer mile.

Coaches knew that the beer mile team would take athletes away from the track team.

However, after a quick five-minute meeting, coach Samuel Adams was in total support of the new sport.

?I know the beer mile will take a few athletes away from our team,? Adams said. ?But I think it will help them with their running endurance as well as their drinking endurance ? two things that are very important in college athletics. If they need me to coordinate the events, I?ll be happy to do it.?

Another concern facing the new sport was the Fauver Stadium grounds-keeping.

In most cases, four beers won?t make a person puke. But running a quarter mile in between each beer can make even the heavyweights boot their brains out.

A couple of students have already shown tremendous interest in this new sport.

University Athletic Ass-ociation?s men?s basketball rookie of the year and freshman Andy Larkin has decided to lace up his running sneakers and throw away his Air Jordans.

?Even though my whole life revolves around my balls, I decided to put down the basketball and try something new,? Larkin said.

For those students who came to UR just to study, the beer mile has spawned new horizons in their lives.

Current Student Association President and junior Meng Wang has decided to forget about the SA election and train for the mile.

?I?ll train by making myself puke so I can get the feeling of the bile coming up my throat. I?ll also run a couple miles and drink a 30-pack of ?Beast? ? Milwau-kee?s Best ? everyday. That should do it. I will be the champ. You can call me the Wanginator.?

This sport needs your help to gain steam. Sign up by calling the club sports office at x43407.

Director of Admissions Jaime Hobba was a little too tipsy to make a comment.



How to lose a child

I don't know how to properly lose a child. My option to grieve was taken from me as easily as my child was. 

Adulting 101: The illusions of age and maturity

Why do we continue to linearize the path to maturity with respect to time and age? It’s high time that we redefine the social concept of maturity.

The catchphrase “I’m not racist”

Nowadays, it seems like anything you do can be, in some way, shape, or form, “racist.”