Class of (insert year)

Sports Information Director

Born in a small (insert noun), Dennis always had visions of knowing every UR statistic since the dawning of this (insert adverb) university. If you ever see Dennis ask him about anything having to do with sports ? and he?ll respond with a long but precise answer to your inquiry.

Not only is Dennis the Sports Information Director, but also an avid player of (insert favorite sport). Upon first sight Dennis may not look like an athlete, but when this man gets going he could stop a moving train. Just ask senior Lance Ramer. Before the St. John Fisher football game, Dennis took Ramer to the limits and knocked his All-American ass to the floor ? just to get him pumped up.

When Dennis is not occupied in his office you can find him (insert activity) in the Louis Alexander Palestra or Fauver Stadium.

When asked how he felt after being distinguished as the Fashion model of the Century he responded, ?It?s neat.?

So what comes next after his long illustrious UR career comes to an end? (Insert activity for Dennis to do after he retires).

Admissions Director Jamie Hobba didn?t want to talk about Dennis.

A secret that cannot be told

When you lose a part of yourself, it never really comes back completely. I didn’t time travel when I played anymore.

Adulting 101: The illusions of age and maturity

Why do we continue to linearize the path to maturity with respect to time and age? It’s high time that we redefine the social concept of maturity.

Censored: CT pushed from Public Safety coverage

Any process relating to the DPS — the University’s private, hardly-accountable policing system — needs to be brought into the public awareness.